Room for Rent
by Spectator101
Summary: Troy slowly mends the friendships he’s broken. Jason realizes how much he hates his family. Chad is tugged between his two best friends. And Ryan resigns himself to New Mexico. College fic. Chad x Jason. Troy x Ryan. Slash.
1. Trusting Time

This chapter was edited on July 22, 2008.

**Warnings **for _slow updates_, slight OOC, **SLASH**, semi-angst. PLEASE if you feel uncomfortable by the very thought of two guys together romantically or sexually then DON'T read this, you'll feel a lot better if you don't.

Rated **M**: For some _much_ later sexual activities…and slight, very slight cursing.

This story is set in sophomore year of college. And certain events happened in freshman year that won't be revealed immediately, so I hope no one get's confused. This story takes place _after_ those events and therefore the characters have changed _slightly_ because of them. This story will be very long but I have everything planned out, the outline _is_ complete.

The main couple is **Chad x Jason**, but don't worry, Troy and Ryan's relationship with be expanded on much later in the story.

Enjoy.

—o—O—O—o—

**Room for Rent **

_Chapter 1: Trusting Time. _

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

"It's perfect!" Chad said. His eyes were wide with excitement.

Jason sighed. His seat was opposite Chad's in the local diner near their home, a place they discovered their senior year of high school and often visited when they came home for weekends or break.

"C'mon, Jase," Chad urged. "A three bedroom apartment with two bathrooms, a large spacious living room, a kitchen, and a dining room," His brown eyes scanned the newspaper quickly, "Is looking for _two_ Albuquerque University students to share the rent."

"Yeah, Chad," the raven-haired male drawled, "I heard you the first time."

"_Two_," Chad repeated. "Me," he pointed to himself, "And you," he pointed to Jason. "It's practically made for us."

Jason had the newspaper pushed at him, his food covered by the sight of grey and black print. He looked at the section of advertisements apprehensively as Chad leaned over the table to point at the specific advertisement circled in blue ink. It looked as if the ballpoint pen was pressed onto the paper repeatedly.

Jason could feel Chad's eyes, filled with high hopes, boring into him. And he wished he shared his enthusiasm …but he didn't.

It was just…Jason didn't like experiencing the _unknown_. He didn't like the new, and he usually refrained from experiencing new things unless he was forced to or the circumstances weren't too scary.

And the idea of living with a stranger—_some person from who knows where_—for a long period of time didn't sound so great.

He could understand why Chad was so eager to jump on this opportunity. Chad and Jason were roommates all of their freshman year at Albuquerque University, and they both saw how the expense for room and board alone left a huge dent in both of their families' income, let alone the cost of tuition.

It'd be nice to go into their sophomore year worry-free, at least in the financial department.

Jason remembered half-way through their freshman year how Chad had tried to find shortcuts to shallow the growing empty hole that was their savings. Jason was pulled into schemes that always led to trouble, forced into plans that didn't make sense, and put into jobs that led into some embarrassment.

_Maybe that's why Troy always made the plans. _Jason soon realized.

But Troy was gone by then. Half-way through freshman year, Jason wouldn't hear from Troy until a long time later.

_Good riddance_. Jason had thought then.

With Troy gone, a bewildered Chad was left to Jason. And Jason didn't mind having a friend so devoted to him, even though he knew it was only because Troy had abandoned the curly brunet.

And sometimes Jason's thoughts drifted into territories that made him feel uncomfortable, so he forgot about them, leaving them buried deep within his mind.

Jason watched as Chad's brown eyes flickered with utter hope. Jason internally winced at letting him down. But he didn't feel good about sharing a space with some stranger.

The reason he ended up as Chad's roommate the year before was because he got paired up with a jerk to live with in his dormitory and Chad's roommate ended up transferring to another school. Chad could have had a room all to himself but offered Jason the space to share.

_Chad is a really good friend. _And Jason was grateful.

"Jase," Chad said, "Don't you think it's better than working at the Burger place again?"

Jason took a sip of his soda. He could hear the quick tapping of Chad's foot on the floor below their table. Jason knew Chad only did that when he was excited about something. He knew with some dread that when Chad was set on something he didn't let go of it easily.

"I don't know about the whole living-with-a-stranger thing," Jason replied quickly.

The uncertainty in Jason's voice didn't deter Chad, and Jason suspected it never would. "Let's just meet the guy," Chad tried, "If you don't like him then we'll try to find some place else or get jobs or something."

Chad knew he couldn't go anywhere without Jason. His friend had become a part of him, and to live without him left an odd empty feeling in Chad's chest. He really couldn't explain it nor did he try to.

"We're going to have to get jobs anyway," Jason replied, slightly annoyed. "And either way, if we meet this _stranger_ and like him who's to say he won't turn into some jackass later."

Jason pushed the newspaper away from him, and then grabbed his cheeseburger and took a big bite, his stubbornness etched on his features with a furrowed set of dark eyebrows, his mouth full of food and closed with a near pout.

"I'm _saying_ we don't have to move in if you're uncomfortable," Chad said unfazed. "Who knows? Maybe if you meet him then you won't feel like he's a stranger." He didn't touch his food, and Jason knew that was a bad sign, the curly brunet was too focused on trying to convince Jason, forgetting everything else, even his rather large hamburger, and when Chad forgot about food then it was _really_ serious.

Jason chewed slowly, unwilling to answer Chad and feeling if he just prolonged this silence that Chad will eventually bring up another topic, _how about football season starting up soon?_ Jason swallowed thickly, and took a very long sip of his soda.

Right before Jason took another large bite, Chad sighed in impatience.

"Jase…"

Jason ventured a look over his burger at the determined curly brunet. Deep brown eyes were concentrated solely on Jason so intensely that he almost forgot what he was being asked.

Chad watched the uncertainty edge around Jason's deep green eyes. He could see Jason's internal struggle to let himself go into a situation that didn't really feel right to him. But Chad had a very good feeling about this, and he knew if Jason was with him that everything would turn out alright. After everything they went through their freshman year of college, Chad was certain that they could get past anything.

And all he needed to know was that Jason would let himself believe in Chad just like he did the year before.

So when Chad said, "Trust me," with warm eyes and a gentle smile. Even as Jason looked at him with hesitance still shining though his eyes, Chad watched in satisfaction as Jason smiled a little anyway.

"When don't I?" Jason replied easily. He continued to eat his burger, so Chad took that as a yes and grinned at his friend widely, picking up his now cold burger and eating it in an amazing speed.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

Troy was trying really hard to keep up. He really was.

But it was like he was sinking, and the water above his head started to rise every time he had the smallest hope of reaching air. He wanted to _breathe_.

Stepping out of his front door, he felt the cool early morning air hit his still warm skin.

He started his morning jog around his neighborhood. It was the only part of his daily routine he felt relaxed doing.

His red basketball shorts flapped against his strong tan legs as he increased in speed. Strands of his shaggy light brown hair flew onto his forehead, as his deep blue eyes closed briefly, so he could just _feel_.

In a few short days he would be going back to Albuquerque University and starting classes. He was itching to start school and basketball practice. In the long summer break he found it difficult to ease himself back into a normal routine.

Everything had changed.

Ever since Troy had come out, officially stated that yes, he, Troy Bolton, was in fact gay—his routines were just something he tried to hold on to from his 'good-old Troy' past.

His summer vacation had been nothing but a readjustment to his old life.

A life he tried desperately to throw away and forget before he realized he was just running away from it.

And by distancing himself from everyone that cared about him the year before, he realized he made things worse. Everyone that loved him, everyone that expected him to be something he knew he wasn't—he couldn't handle letting them all down.

Not after the way his father reacted…

Months ago, Troy thought by hiding away, avoiding anyone that really knew him, he could feel better. And he did…for awhile.

But now, Troy realized he was just putting off the eventual, he had to face his _life_. He had to face his family and friends.

_This summer was like a punch in the face_, Troy reflected.

Home felt like an extended torture session. His father was getting better with the idea of his son being _that_ way.

And his mother…it was like she was trying too hard to make sure Troy was okay, and _normal. _But by _acting_ like everything was normal, she was making everything _not_ normal at all.

Troy realized he had changed a lot. Sometimes he felt like his family was meeting him for the first time.

And sometimes Troy felt like an outsider, someone better off alone. He had a lot of time to think alone—when he was off in his own head, away from everyone's gaze, just inside his mind—turning his thoughts over and over again. Until he felt like he was in another world.

And now that he was confronting everything he tried desperately to get away from, he felt disconnected from everyone.

It was partly his own fault though, he had hurt his friends.

Lying, missing calls—being a general no-show when your friends needed you the most. And they didn't care if he was gay or not. Troy tried to deny they accepted him just because of his father…just because his father had said that they wouldn't.

And so Troy abandoned them.

Yeah, he was jerk.

In retrospect, Troy knew what he was doing when he was doing it. But it was hazy too. Looking back, everything blurred and became disjointed.

A year had gone by, and Troy knew it changed everything.

He noticed it when he hung out with Chad, the way Chad's light demeanor would dampen ever so slightly when last year was brought up. Chad seemed different. It was almost like Chad was trying very hard to look at the silver lining in _everything_. He didn't used to be that way, but now he seemed…Troy couldn't explain it and he felt guilty when he thought that maybe he was responsible for Chad's change.

How bad must it have been for Chad to suddenly try and drag out the slightest tiniest amount of good in the mess that was last year?

He was just glad Chad was speaking to him again.

It was different with Jason though. Troy felt as if the other male was shying away from him in fear of Troy deserting him again. Troy remembered how hard it was to get Jason to open up in high school, Jason's quiet nature made it difficult to really get close to him. Troy was considered a close friend before…now, all the time it took to really be good friends with Jason was reversed in the span of a year.

Talking to Jason now felt like talking to someone he just met. No, it was worse, there was no clean slate, instead, there was a barrier that Jason won't ever let Troy get past.

All of Jason's trust in Troy eroded away.

Troy just hoped that if enough time passed everything will just slid into place.

Troy let out a breath as he slowed his pace. He had started to run a lot faster than he intended without realizing it.

Looking around his quiet neighborhood, he noticed he ran farther than he usually did in the mornings.

He didn't see much of his high school friends other than Chad and Jason. The rest of the wildcats seemed to be living their lives elsewhere. He could understand that, he guessed, not everyone was willing to stay in one place forever.

Sometimes Gabriella would call him but the calls came far and few in-between. He was surprised how much he missed her even though he knew his love for her had faded away. She talked to him about Harvard, and sometimes Troy felt like she was so focused on her studies that she forgot about everything else. He sort of lost contact with her a few months ago, and now, he didn't know if he should talk to her again.

Maybe drifting away was all that was left.

He knew Ryan and Sharpay had left to New York City. He wondered about them sometimes.

He started to jog back home. He felt tired already, his body was warm, and sweat had collected above his eyebrows, causing the strands of his hair on top of his forehead to stick to his skin.

He felt dread as he neared his home, the process of everything settling, healing, and mending back to some form of comfort took time. And right now, Troy was in the middle of it.

He just wanted speed up time, to let the relationships broken and torn to heal.

Wiping the sweat off his forehead, he went to his mailbox. Going though junk mail and bills, he found something strange. A letter addressed to him from Mr. Evans, Sharpay and Ryan's father. He hadn't heard from the rich man since his senior year of high school.

Ripping open the envelope, his eyes scanned the letter with interest.

"Honey," his mother said, watching her son read the letter in the doorway. "At least come inside," she admonished, "Settle down and then read your mail." She put her hand on her son's bent arm, leading him into the kitchen after she closed the front door.

Troy sat on the stool in front of the counter in the center of the kitchen as his mother curiously watched him read. His eyes were concentrated solely on the paper before him. She sighed softly, and decided to make some breakfast instead of asking him what the letter contained.

"Apartment complexes?" Troy said aloud, looking at his mother in confusion.

His mother pursed her lips, one hand settling on her hip. "Are you planning on letting me know what's in that letter?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. "Or do I have to guess from that little excerpt?"

"Mom," Troy sighed slightly amused. "Mr. Evans sent me this…he said he's buying all this land near the university to make buildings and he's already built some …he's offering me a single apartment in one," he looked at the letter again.

When Troy looked up again he found his mother deep in thought. He could understand her hesitancy. Mr. Evans had already helped him get a partial scholarship and his own pride was nudging him to deny the offer, but it was so expensive to live on campus, and a cheaper apartment could help his family so much.

"We'll ask your father about it," she said finally. Then she went back to making breakfast, warming the pan, Troy heard the butter sizzling. "How about some pancakes?" She smiled at Troy.

Troy grinned. "Yeah, blueberry please," she laughed softly. Her son acted like he did when he was five sometimes. Troy watched as his mother smiled warmly at him, her soft laugh lit up her face, and suddenly Troy thought, maybe she wasn't pretending after all.

Maybe normalcy wasn't that far-fetched of a dream.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

"How are you settling in?"

"Fine."

"Is everything coming in, all your bags have arrived?"

"Yes."

"Do you need more maids to put everything in order?"

"No."

"How are you?"

"Fine."

Mr. Evans sighed deeply into the phone, "Ryan." He wanted to say something to get his son to open up, to talk to him like he used to, with open enthusiasm and admiration, but instead he said nothing. He waited in the tense silence as he heard his son breath softly over the phone, griping his cell phone more tightly he simply said, "Well, I'll call you later, son."

"Okay," Ryan replied tiredly, hanging up the phone and then looking around the apartment he would be living in for the next couple of years.

"Mr. Evans, do you need anything else?" The maid asked. Her name, he learned was Linda, a middle-aged woman his father hired to help Ryan move in. She didn't care much for their status and often made known what she will and will not do.

He smiled softly. "No, you can go home Linda, thank you," he said, walking over to the door to let her out.

"What about your room?" she asked, "It's still—"

"Don't worry about it," Ryan said quickly, raking his fingers through his blond hair, and looking off to the other side of the apartment, away from Linda's scrutinizing gaze.

She pursed her lips. "Well," she said, slightly put off at how Ryan interrupted her, "Don't complain later, I asked you about it," she said tersely, letting herself out.

Ryan sighed as he watched the door close. Then he walked through his newly clean and bought apartment. Well, it wasn't really _his_ more like his father's. He looked into his room, boxes scattered and unpacked, the emptiness and bareness comforted him in a way.

"_When you decorate the bedroom then it's your room, Ry, it's your home."_

He remembered Sharpay telling him that when they moved into their apartment in New York City, now it was just his sister's.

And he was back in New Mexico.

Back _here_ while his sister lived in New York.

Since his father needed help with the family-named company, he needed someone with his own blood to help him run his business because he couldn't trust anyone else. He wouldn't tell Ryan why, instead the only reason he received was, "_that is what an Evans man does, he helps his father, he continues the legacy." _

So he was enrolled into Albuquerque University, his father pulled some strings, and his major was business, the absolutely last thing his high-school self would ever image he would be doing now, at this moment in his life.

He should be on Broadway, he should be acting, singing, _living_.

His sister was on Broadway and he was _here_.

And as his thoughts centered on that aspect, on that single _fact_, he couldn't bring himself to feel bitter, not at his sister and not even at his father. Instead all he felt was numbness as he just let it be.

He took one last look at the bare room and left.

He needed to call his sister.

Yet, as he reached for the phone he spotted something yellow, he didn't notice it before but there was a post-it.

"Man called for roommate, has friend, coming at 2 O'clock, tomorrow," Ryan read with furrowed eyebrows. He could never decipher Linda's handwriting.

Another two candidates for the two empty rooms, Ryan decided. He didn't really need roommates since his father paid for everything but he could use some company and some cash his father didn't know about. Maybe if he collected enough he could leave unannounced.

And suddenly Ryan thought maybe he was better at business than he thought.

He hoped these guys weren't weirdoes like the other men who he interviewed. One guy had wanted the other room to be for his snakes, Ryan shuddered at the thought.

_And maybe I'll make some friends._

Friendships that would help ease the painfully slow pass of time here.

_I can only hope. _

Crumpling up the small sticky note, he called his sister.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

Jason tossed a basketball above his head as he lay on his bed.

He could hear the chatter of his family in the living room but he couldn't bring himself to join them. He just felt like staying in his room and tossing the basketball up in the air above his head and catching it as it came back down.

A knock on his door made Jason jerk up, surprised at the noise, "Come in," he said, holding the basketball on his lap and sitting up on the bed.

His older brother's head peaked in through the door, "Hey Jason," he said as he let himself in, "Why aren't you downstairs?"

"Because I don't feel like it," Jason said. He tossed the ball on the floor, reclining back on his bed.

His older brother made himself comfortable on the chair by the desk. His jet-black hair, pale skin and deep green eyes were remarkably like Jason's. He was almost an older version of him in his middle twenties.

"You know you're going away in a couple of days and we won't see you again for a long time, you can at least spend some time with us," his brother said calmly, "With mom," he added.

Jason shrugged, "I spent all summer with everyone," he gazed at the ceiling, "And I just feel like being by myself for awhile, that's all." He looked at his brother suddenly, "David," his brother looked at him, "You think mom is still upset with me?" He asked quietly.

"No," he replied, "I think she just wants the best for you and maybe for you to spend some time with her," he smiled at his younger brother, "Was that what was bothering you?" he asked with a small chuckle, "You're such a baby," he laughed.

"No!" Jason said indignantly, "I'm not upset." He sat up suddenly. "And why did you come up here anyway?" he asked, suddenly annoyed at the other's presence.

David shrugged, "Had to make sure our little baby didn't cry all by his lonesome," he laughed quietly, his deep green eyes held great amusement as Jason narrowed his strikingly similar deep green eyes in irritation.

"Whatever," Jason muttered. Then his lips tugged into a half-smile, "You just don't want to admit you'll miss me."

"Yeah, I'll miss someone cleaning their share of the house," David said unconvincingly. "Just come downstairs will you," he said as he got off the chair and left the room.

Jason smiled at the open doorway, after his brother left, and decided to follow him.

Gong down the stairs, he heard the noise of his family's chatter get louder.

"Hey! Jasey!" His younger brother jumped at him excitedly, "Jasey's here, Jasey!"

Jason chuckled as he picked up his three-year-old brother, his black hair rumpled at the excess amounts the young boy played and rolled around. "Hey, how many times did I say just call me Jase," Jason said lightly. His smile widened as his younger brother's deep green eyes widened slightly ibefore he giggled and hugged him tightly.

"William," his mother called, "Put these toys away before someone falls over them," she walked toward the staircase and found Jason holding William, "Will, let's go," her voice was gentle but the young boy pouted as he was forced out of Jason's arms and into his mother's. "Jason, how nice of you to join us," her tone held disproval and Jason suddenly felt like he was William's age again.

"Sorry, I was just—"

"Jason!" David yelled out, "Telephone!" Jason looked toward the kitchen while his mother took William out to the living room to collect his toys.

When he reached the kitchen he heard his uncles talking and drinking beer, his mother scolded them and the older men grumbled. They were his mother's brothers and all worked in the automotive factory near by.

"Hello," Jason said into the phone, covering his other ear to block out his uncles' loud banter in the living room.

"Hey Jase," Chad's warm voice came through the phone. Jason found himself smiling at the sound of his friend's voice. "I tried you're cell but you didn't answer," he said. Jason could hear someone talking to Chad on the other end but it wasn't clear.

"I probably turned it off," he replied. Suddenly, his older brother came in, curiously staying by the counter and drinking a can of beer.

"Oh God," Chad groaned in annoyance, "Hold on for a sec, okay?"

Jason could hear Chad speaking to his mother. "Mom, I'm not dying okay! Just relax, sheez," Chad groaned.

Jason found this odd but didn't say anything, instead he chose to glare at his brother, who looked like he was eavesdropping.

"Jase, you there?" Chad said.

"Yeah," Jason said, abruptly looking away from his nosey brother to focus on Chad, "What's going on?"

"My mom is crying about how fast I'm growin' up because I told her about the apartment," Chad groaned again, clearly annoyed by his mother's behavior. "Do you want me to live with you until I'm thirty," Chad yelled in the background. Jason heard more crying.

Jason laughed at Chad's dilemma, "This is just like graduation," he laughed more as Chad huffed at the memory. "I haven't told my mom yet," Jason shrugged. Then he looked at his older brother suddenly, who leaned in on the counter interested in Jason's conversation. Jason glared at him again.

David smiled innocently, taking a casual swig of his beer.

"I'll pick you up at one thirty tomorrow and we'll go meet the apartment owner," Chad said quietly, he didn't want his mother to hear and start crying even more. Jason could hear the wails of 'he's growing up so fast' in the background. And suddenly he realized the both of them had single mothers, yet Chad was a single child while he was the middle child.

"Alright," the raven-haired male sounded slightly down.

"Hey," Chad said suddenly, "I promise we won't move in unless you like the other guy, okay?" Jason felt better at the promise so he smiled into the phone.

"Alright, see you tomorrow," Jason said before he hung up the phone.

He started when he turned around and saw David sitting, both elbows on the counter, and his chin resting on his palms. Jason forgot his brother was sitting right behind him.

"So, that was Chad?" David said with a tone that Jason didn't like.

"Yeah, you're the one that picked up the phone," he replied annoyed, walking toward the living room.

David was right behind him, the taller male chuckled suddenly, "And what didn't you tell mom, that you're coming out?"

Jason turned around in irritation, "You know you're really starting to bug me," he said tightly. "Just because you have repressed desires for Jonathon doesn't mean you have to project your weirdness onto me."

David barked out in laughter, "Repressed desires? Have you been reading mom's romance novels?" he laughed, "And I haven't talked to Jonathon in a year," his laughter died when he said his ex-best-friend's name, "You really have an overactive imagination, Jase, been taking psych classes?"

Jason narrowed his eyes at David's bitter tone.

"I'm surprised you would know about that class," he replied, taking a swing at David's lack of education. Then he felt guilty for saying it, but David left him alone, and it gave Jason a lingering feeling of satisfaction.

When Jason left the small hall and entered the living room he saw his mother cleaning up after her brothers left. When she spotted Jason she waved him over.

"Help me clean between the sofas," she said.

His mother was a slim woman. Her hair was a light brown, and her eyes a light blue. He looked nothing like his mother and neither did his brothers. He imagined him and his brothers looked just like their father.

He never met his father but he figured he looked like his older brother except with a few wrinkles.

His mother had to look at the images of the man that left her in her three sons, and Jason wouldn't understand that until much later.

"Every time Len and Ronny come over they leave such a mess," she complained, cleaning the table of all the crumbs and spills of soda and beer.

Jason wiped away the crumbs. He cleared his throat nervously, "They left so soon?" he asked as he reached in-between the cushions for more crumbs.

His mother ignored his question, "Take the cushions out Jason, really," she shook her head.

"Mom, I gotta tell you something," Jason said quickly. He just wanted to get this over with. "Me and Chad found an apartment near campus, it'll save us some money," he said with slight hope.

"Well," his mother replied tiredly, "At least you're considering what I'm doing for you." She continued to clean the table, "I don't know what you're doing at that college," she said to herself.

Jason frowned, then looked away, and continued to clean up the living room.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

"Hey!" Chad waved at Jason from outside his car. Jason ran out of his house after a quick yell of "I'll see you later" to his older brother.

"What the hell took so long?" Chad said as he restarted the car and started off toward the university. He was simply dressed in his basketball shorts and a tee shirt. He didn't care to put on more dressy attire for meeting the apartment owner.

Jason shrugged. "I had to help Will get dressed this morning and then make sure David didn't forget to feed the kid," he laughed slightly.

Jason rubbed at his jeans, they were slightly worn but he didn't mind as long as they were clean. The house had been in chaos after his mother had been working more hours, and Jason found himself doing the cleaning, the cooking, and the everything else. He doubted David had any plans of helping out.

Chad narrowed his eyes at the mention of David, "What's with David anyway, he's kinda weird."

Jason turned to Chad, suddenly feeling anxious, "Why? Did he say something weird?"

"No, he just kept making everything I say sound odd," Chad said.

When Chad called the day before and asked for Jason, David had asked him if he _really_ wanted to speak to him badly. _What was that about? _Chad just shrugged if off.

"Hey everyone's allowed one weird family member look at my cousin Gregory, he likes to dance to polka," Chad shuddered at the memory of his cousin trying to make him dance with him. Maybe that was why he hated dancing so much he thought suddenly.

The sound of Jason laughing made Chad grin widely as he drove into the university parking lot.

"Are you sure we can park here?" Jason asked looking around the deserted parking lot with skeptical eyes.

"Yeah, whatever, we're student's here plus I got the sticker on my car, so they can't say anything," he walked off in the direction of the street away from the campus, Jason followed Chad curiously.

"So, where is this place?" Jason asked finally. He watched Chad turn his head to look at him with a smile, Jason smiled back despite himself.

"It's only a ten minute walk from here!" Chad said excitedly, "I really hope this guy isn't a weirdo," he put his palms together and looked up to the sky, "Please, please, please!"

Jason laughed quietly at his friend, "Even if this guy is a weirdo, maybe the building has a two room apartment available," he said, "We can find some place on our own."

"Maybe we can even ask Troy about living there," Chad said, unaware of how tense Jason became at the shaggy brunet's name.

"You sure?" Jason asked quietly.

They were approaching a winding path that led to a walkway with several buildings scattered along the side of the long road. The place was surrounded by trees. It was a clean area, with several benches and even a park.

Chad bit his lip suddenly, and Jason felt a little worried about Chad's demeanor changing to something slightly more serious. "I know what he did last year hurt us both but I forgave him for it," Chad said looking down, his eyes focused on his sneakers. "And he was going through stuff Jase. So what if he's gay—"

"I don't care if he's gay or turned into a woman," Jason said sharply, "Whatever, it doesn't matter, I just don't trust the guy after what he pulled last year."

"Troy would make an ugly woman," Chad chuckled.

Jason's anger deflated. "Chad…" Jason sighed. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know," Chad said. He wanted to change the topic. Whenever Troy was brought up it made them both tense and Chad hated feeling agitated and frustrated.

He just wanted everything to be okay.

"It's that one," Chad pointed to building 213 and Jason left the topic alone.

When they reached the apartment, "E4," Chad read, "It's this one," he called to Jason who was on the other side of the hall.

After ringing the doorbell Chad bounced on the balls of his feet, excitement filling him as he heard the door being unlocked.

Jason felt nervous, the noise of the lock being opened heightening his anxiety.

The door opened to reveal a short blonde, middle-aged woman. "You the two guys for the apartment?" She said gruffly.

Chad looked down at the women slightly aghast. "Yeah," he said slowly, dread crept up his spine. He turned to Jason to find the same look on his features.

The women clucked her tongue in annoyance. "Well? You comin' in or not?" She asked impatiently, her foot tapped in irritation at the long wait.

Chad felt Jason's hand on his arm, pulling him away from the scary small woman. Chad looked back at the raven-haired male incredulously, "We can't just run away," he whispered in annoyance.

Jason's eyes widened as Chad pulled him into the apartment.

_How do I always get into these situation_? Jason thought.

He looked at the curly brunet ahead of him.

_Oh yeah, that's how_. He thought in irritation.

"Hold on a sec while I get Evans," the small woman went into the hallway.

"Evans?" Chad furrowed his eyebrows. "Oh god," he turned to Jason in fear, "You think Sharpay owns this place?" He asked in a whisper.

Jason glared at the curly brunet. "Oh, and why couldn't we just run again?" He whispered harshly.

"I think I would rather live with the short old women," Chad muttered.

"Chad? Jason?" Chad and Jason turned around to the sound of their names.

"RYAN EVANS?" Chad exclaimed. The blond looked shocked to see them as well. Suddenly Chad launched himself onto the startled blond male. "Wow, what are the odds?" Chad said as he hugged him, "How are you?"

Ryan looked a little different. Jason noticed his hair was slightly longer and more around his face. He still had the hat and dressy clothes though.

"I'm fine," Ryan finally let out after Chad's almost suffocating hug. He smiled at the jocks he knew from high school. "Um, nice to see you guys," he said awkwardly, still slightly stunned by their presence.

"Hey," Jason greeted with a nod and smile. Ryan smiled back.

_This is odd_, Ryan thought privately.

"Linda, you can go home now," Ryan said. The maid was more than happy to oblige, picking up her bag and leaving the three males.

"Whoa! This is a huge screen," Ryan turned around and found Chad gazing at the big screen television dreamily.

Jason shook his head in amusement while Ryan smirked self-appreciatively. "Yeah," he said as he put both of his hands in his pockets. He walked behind Chad. "I got it as a gift from my father when I moved in," he shrugged, "It's nice to watch games on," he said casually.

Jason took in a breath of appreciation. It was quite a beauty, a flat screen, high definition, sleek and shiny. "Nice," he supplied.

"Well," Ryan smiled, "You guys are interested in living here right?"

Chad looked to Jason for confirmation and after finding the raven-haired male smiling at him, he nodded at Ryan, "Yeah, can we look around?"

"Sure," Ryan led the way, "I'll give you guys a tour," he said.

Ryan didn't feel the need to drill them with questions. He hadn't spoken to them in almost two years but he doubted they changed much.

After going through the kitchen and dining room they headed to the hall.

"There are three bedrooms, mine is here," Ryan pointed into a rather large room, sparsely decorated. "I just moved in," he explained. "So I still have to unpack and decorate," he awkwardly stated. "And the other rooms are down here," they walked down the hallway until they reached two doors opposite each other, "And there's another bathroom here closer to these rooms," he added.

Once they reached the living room, the tour was over and they were back to where they started.

"So, now comes the interview portion," Ryan smirked as Chad and Jason looked at each other nervously.

"Well, what do you want to know?" Chad asked.

Chad stood next to Jason as Ryan stepped in front of them both, folding his arms over his chest and narrowing his pale blue eyes, seemingly scrutinizing them.

For a tense moment Jason and Chad watched as Ryan seemed to be thinking of a good question.

Suddenly Ryan smiled, "When do you want to move in?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Chad chuckled and then looked at Jason, "What do you say?"

Jason looked between the two males hesitantly. It was up to him. He knew only time could tell him how the three of them will live together. And he trusted Chad. So after he watched Chad look at him hopefully and Ryan's gaze turn anxious, Jason took in a silent deep breath before he smiled and said, "As soon as we can."

Chad looked relieved and Ryan smiled more widely.

This was going to be an interesting sophomore year of college.

_TBC _

**A/N:** This is just slight glimpses of everyone and their relationships with each other at this moment. Hope everyone likes it so far.

Feedback is greatly appreciated, so please review.


	2. Placated thoughts

—o—O—O—o—

**Room for Rent **

_Chapter 2: Placated thoughts. _

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

"Hey, where do I put this?" Chad asked, holding up a football shaped lamp. Jason gestured vaguely in the corner of the apartment while Ryan grimaced at the oddly shaped lighting source.

"I'll find a place for it," Ryan replied kindly, awkwardly holding the unusually shaped lamp with an extended arm while walking into the hallway. He placed it in the far back bottom corner of the hallway closet, unnoticed by Chad.

Ryan smiled to himself as he reentered the living room, privately deciding to remain hovering around the two former wildcats just incase any other oddly decorated items were to appear. Ryan noticed not only had Chad and Jason brought many boxes but that some of the boxes contained several unique decorations. Spotting a grass welcome mat, he decided that it would have the same fate as the rest of the other strange things Chad brought, in the hall closet.

Jason watched as Ryan disappeared into the hallway again, he chuckled to himself, amused at how discretely Ryan seemed to be hiding all of Chad's junk.

Chad went into his new bedroom, walking around the slightly unfamiliar space with a feeling of pride at the ownership of it all. It was the first real room of his own and away from his mother. He loved his mother dearly but sometimes she was overprotective and smothering. She had a habit of making feel guilty for growing older, as if he was leaving her forever. But he decided that he could understand since he was an only child after all.

And his mother would let go, eventually.

His back ached from carrying all of his boxes up to the apartment. He dropped himself on his queen-sized bed back first, landing in a bounce. He sighed deeply, feeling all of his muscles relax over the soft mattress and blanket. He closed his eyes and just lay there for sometime.

Meanwhile, Jason was still in the living room, trying to sort out the things he would put in his room, and hiding the things he realized Ryan would hide away once in plain sight, like his precious grand-size pez dispenser. It was a souvenir! He quickly put it under some blankets and bed sheets once he heard footsteps approaching the living room.

"I'm off to class," Ryan declared, Jason looked up to find Ryan dressed in his usual bright dressy clothes, light greens and white, and a green briefcase in hand. He was already at the door, "I'll be back later tonight," he supplied vaguely, and Jason just nodded, not expecting anything more detailed. They were all adults, he could respect that.

"Bye," Jason simply said smiling. Ryan smiled back before closing the door on his way out.

And as soon as the blond left, Jason couldn't help but feel as if he was in some weird alternate reality because if anyone were to tell him he'd be sharing an apartment with Ryan Evans when he was in high school he would have called them insane.

He shrugged, that was then and this was now, he thought, life was odd that way. Suddenly he realized Chad hadn't returned for the rest of his boxes in quite a while, so he decided to check on the curly brunet, who had a tendency to get himself into more trouble than was natural.

Jason stepped into Chad's room, standing just inside the door, his deep green eyes halting their scan of the room at the sight of the curly brunet lying on the large bed, his eyes closed and his lean chest rising and lowering slowly. His limbs were spread out and his curly hair was splayed over the blanket and slightly on his forehead.

Jason smirked, such an image begged to be disrupted his mind urged. And spotting a water bottle on the dresser by the bed, he slowly crept into the room and grabbed the half-filled water bottle, slowly unscrewing the cap and leaning over the bed, holding in his laughter with a bite of his bottom lip.

A shadow loomed over Chad's form and as if sensing it Chad's eyes opened at that instant, catching Jason in the act. The raven-haired male faltered at the unexpected awakening, and Chad's eyes widened, "You bastard, what the hell were you planning to do?" he asked still lying on the bed, his brown eyes upside down in Jason's view, who was hovering over the curly brunet with an open water bottle suspiciously raised in one hand.

"I thought," Jason started out innocently, "That maybe you were thirsty!" He titled the bottle upside down in one move, too quick for the curly brunet to dodge, resulting in a wet faced Chad.

Jason laughed as he ran out of the room, "I'm gonna kill you," Chad yelled as he lifted himself off the bed and ran after the raven-haired male.

Once in the hall, the curly brunet wiped the water from his face with an aggressive rub with his arm, he watched as Jason dashed into the living room, his grey sweat pant clad leg and foot covered sneaker disappearing behind a corner.

Chad narrowed his eyes, walking briskly into the living room and catching the raven-haired male in the middle of the living room with no place to run. Chad smirked.

Jason held his hands up, "Hey, before you try anything, I just want to remind you that I pay one-third of the rent," he walked backward as Chad advanced.

"You can always be replaced," Chad remarked, taking one step at a time, his red t-shirt wet with dark spots of water and his curls stuck to his forehead.

"Yeah, but, who are going to find as good as me?" Jason smiled cheekily, finding himself backed into the couch, the edge hitting behind his legs. Chad wanted to laugh at Jason's look of slight fear but held it in, instead he stepped closer and with no where for Jason to escape he pounced. Jason landed back on the couch with a drop of his body, the curly brunet's weight holding him down as they wrestled each other.

Chad grinned in triumph as Jason struggled under him, their limbs mixed in an odd battle, weakened by Jason's laughing and Chad's amusement. Suddenly an unwanted clank was heard and both males looked in horror at the glass table hit by their legs. Chad, still half on Jason, swore as he leaned slightly over Jason to inspect the glass top for damage.

Jason tensed as their fight halted and instead was replaced by mere closeness that only the raven-haired male seemed to be aware of. Chad's legs were between Jason's own legs, Chad held onto Jason's shoulder as he leaned further to check the leg of the table, and Jason felt his stomach tighten for reasons he couldn't understand.

And quickly the odd moment passed as Chad lifted himself off the raven-haired male, "That was close, Ryan would've killed us if we broke this stupid table," his brown eyes were still on the elegant table, which probably cost more than either of them made in a lifetime.

Rubbing the back of his neck anxiously, Chad gave a relieved smile to Jason.

And Jason couldn't bring himself to look at Chad in eyes. He was too focused on his heart pounding unusually fast, and the heat he suddenly felt radiate off his skin. He looked up at Chad, and quickly put away the odd feeling that surfaced, not willing to analyze it too much.

Pushing the thoughts away roughly, Jason forced out a chuckle, reclaiming normalcy, "Don't let Ryan hear you call it that," Jason returned slightly uneasily. He sat up on the couch recovering himself, brushing away the wrinkles on his t-shirt, "That glass table 'completes the room,'" Jason recited, restating Ryan's words.

Chad rolled his eyes, "Whatever," he sighed.

Suddenly Chad looked around the room with searching eyes, forgetting his attempted 'revenge' on Jason and their debate over the glass table, he turned to Jason with furrowed eyebrows in puzzlement and asked, "Hey, what happened to my football lamp?"

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

Ryan walked out of his accounting class feeling drained by all the numbers and information, he felt a tinge of a headache on the side of his head as he left the math and science building.

He walked past a clutter of students chatting as he went down the path heading toward the parking lot to get his car, spotting his shiny red convertible he got in and sat in the driver's seat, placing his briefcase in his backseat. For a long moment he sat in the black leather seat collecting himself, staring blankly at the shrubs and tree bark in front of his car, the leaves were still green and healthy, he noticed. Sighing to himself he started his car and drove off to his father's company headquarters.

The drive wasn't too long but it left quite an amount of time to think, and Ryan never liked that aspect of his drives to his father's company.

He couldn't bring himself to think of much on this drive however. And that left him slightly relieved, not to have the burden of his introspection indirectly betraying his father.

He parked his car in the spot designated to him, a flashy green reserved sign in front of the spot, he didn't think it was necessary but he couldn't bring himself to argue over it.

Walking into the busy lobby he felt out of place instantly, a bright spot amid the sea of dark suits. No one seemed to notice his presence and Ryan was never one to demand attention like his sister, he had found comfort in fading into the background. The only attention he craved was the one he received on stage. And he didn't dwell on the thought of never getting that attention again.

He slipped past everyone easily, getting into the elevator, which lifted him stories upon stories up to the top level.

Once he reached the top the heavy shiny metal doors slide apart, revealing a lonely door, an elegant script indicating it as the President's office. As Ryan was about to open the door he heard a clear of someone's throat, he turned and found Ms. Lain at her desk, facing him.

"Appointment, Mr. Evans?" She asked, she was his father's secretary and for some reason he didn't like something about her but he never found a good enough reason not to like her, so he kept the odd feeling to himself.

"He called me for lunch," he supplied, his hand still on the door knob and feeling a little bothered at how she held him from seeing his father.

"Alright, just a moment," she didn't look at him as she spoke, her eyes were directed toward the computer screen, the light reflected off of her black rimmed glasses. "There seems to be no appointment here for you," she said distractedly, the clicking of her keyboard went full speed as her eyes scanned the screen.

Ryan took a deep breath, it had been a long day, he thought. Early morning he had to help Chad and Jason move in, and then he had three classes in a row, calculus, English, and finally an accounting class. His father called him in-between classes to ask if he would like to spend lunch with his dear old father and Ryan grudgingly agreed only to have this twenty-something-year-old bimbo hold him here in front of his father's office, and more importantly his lunch.

He could hear his father behind the dark wooden door. His stomach grumbled and after feeling his headache pound at that instant the last of his restraint broke, and so he opened the door anyway.

"Excuse me!" Her shrill voice rang, Ryan walked into the office briskly, ignoring her calls.

Ryan watched his father turn around, his earpiece clung to his ear as he told the person on the phone to hold on, "Son! What took so long?" He asked with a wide smile, and Ryan felt relief at the sight of his father, sudden warmth spread through him as he smiled back.

"Sorry sir," Ms. Lain's breathy voice entered. Ryan turned around and looked at the young woman's fake smile with inner disgust. Ryan disliked people in this company, and he didn't trust anyone that claimed to be his father's business associate. He could always feel a person's intentions within himself whenever he met someone for the first time, and most of the people he met here left a bad feeling in his gut.

"Oh, I'm sorry Kathy, I forgot to mention my little lunch visitor," His father smiled at Ryan, and Ryan felt slight embarrassment at the nickname. As his father's smile turned to his secretary, her fake smile widened a degree. Ryan looked at her with a strained small smile as well, silently urging her to leave.

She nodded before turning to leave, closing the door behind her. Ryan turned to his father and watched him as he paced back and forth in front of his desk.

"Yes," his father nodded, "Well, we would put up better terms if we were certain we would receive the same," His father's voice darkened a degree, "I am aware and if you have anything new to tell me I will then be willing to listen," he clicked off his earpiece and placed it in his inside jacket pocket.

"Dad," Ryan tried, but his father's eyes were narrowed, staring at a spot far into the floor. Ryan never saw him so in thought, and it made him feel small suddenly, his own selfish thoughts were put aside as he considered everything his father must be going through.

Suddenly his father shook his head, smiling at the sight of his son, "Ah, sorry son, now let's go to lunch, eh?" Ryan nodded in agreement and with a yell of "I'll be back in 20" at his secretary, father and son were off to lunch.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

Placing his backpack on the nearest couch, Jason flopped down the next couch over and turned on the television, hearing Chad's voice drift from the bedroom he figured the curly headed male was on the phone.

Flipping through the channels and finding nothing of interest he sighed and lifted himself up, hearing Chad's voice more clearly he decided to bother the other male for lack of better entertainment.

"Sure, I'll meet you at the basketball court, the one off the highway, yeah I know that park," Chad paused then laughed, "Okay, I'll bring the ball."

Jason furrowed his eyebrows_ …basketball..? _Nearing Chad's bedroom, he pushed the slightly ajar door further open and watched as Chad closed his cell phone.

"Who was that?" Jason asked.

Chad twirled around quickly, his brown eyes wide with surprise. Jason stood by the door, unfazed at how he almost sent Chad into a heart-attack.

"What the hell?!" Chad exclaimed. Jason raised one eyebrow, "You scared the hell out of me," Chad grumbled, turning back around and proceeding to go through his drawers, tossing a few t-shirts over his shoulder.

Jason narrowed his eyes, "You're meeting Troy," he stated. Chad turned to face him, halting his process of finding a looser t-shirt, to give Jason a '_whatever_' look.

Jason sighed in annoyance, walking over to Chad's bed and sitting down at the edge, he watched Chad rummage through drawer after drawer, "Why?" he asked almost to himself, _'why does he always give people second-chances,'_ Jason thought, '_why does he put himself in a position to get hurt _again_…to be left _again_…' _

Chad sighed to himself, halting his search and placing his hands on top of the drawer, his head dropping as he felt frustration press him, how many times have we had this conversation Chad thought with some dark amusement. ..Why..? Chad hated that question, and he hated it when Jason asked him that in such a soft uncertain voice, it brought all those memories back, everything he tried so hard to put past him.

The curly brunet turned around slowly, "Because it's not right to end a friendship over a mistake," he explained just as softly.

Jason looked up, his eyes slightly wide for a moment as if he didn't expect Chad to answer but he recovered quickly, narrowing his eyes, "Over countless mistakes, you mean." Chad let out a breath of frustration, this conversation had been replayed way to many times for Chad to remain patient, ignoring Jason he grabbed his grey t-shirt and pulled his slightly tighter shirt over his head. Jason averted his gaze, looking off to the corner of the room uncomfortably.

Clad in a looser grey t-shirt, Chad moved to stand right in front of the raven-haired male, "Do you wanna come with me?" he asked. Jason snorted, _yeah right_, his gaze still on the corner of the room, yet when he looked up into Chad's pleading brown eyes, he had a hard time rejecting those eyes. So, Jason turned away from him, looking down at the blankets.

"No."

Chad sighed softly, feeling slightly hopeless he walked toward the door and away from Jason, "I'll see you later," he said as he left. And Jason looked at the door after he left, feeling a little disappointed at his exit.

When Chad walked over to the park, his thoughts overwhelmed him. He tired so hard not to think too deeply about anything really, but being torn between two friends made him so confused. And when he was confused he tried so hard to make it simple yet that led to thoughts, and more thoughts. It made his head hurt.

He couldn't really understand why Jason was so against his renewing friendship with Troy, but he thought it was his own issues to deal with, and whatever it was Jason didn't want to let Chad in on it. And at first, Chad was upset Jason wouldn't befriend Troy again but he later realized he was more upset that Jason refused to really talk about what happened between him and Troy, what was the real reason he doesn't want to talk to Troy?

Chad went over that question so many times, he tried so hard to figure it out but he always came up empty. He sighed as he walked up the path to the park. Troy was his best-friend for as long as he could remember. How one year could change so much between them was a wonder to him. Sometimes he wished he was in high-school again, things seemed so much simpler.

He tightened the grip on his basketball as he thought of a time when the team would play on the court until curfew, and there would be no secrets, nothing any of them couldn't handle together. Where was that now?

At least he had Jason, and when he thought about it more it was a little surprising that after everything, all the separation, confusion, and adjusting college brought, Jason was the one constant. Maybe that's why he hadn't gone insane Chad thought with an internal chuckle.

When Chad reached the basketball court he spotted Troy standing with his back to him, and as Chad walked up to the shaggy brunet he silently hoped things would just be as they once were again, Troy his best-friend and life without all this uncertainty.

"Hey man," Chad couldn't help but grin at the sight of his friend.

Troy grinned back, "Don't tell me we're using that odd raggedy ball," Troy laughed slightly at Chad's indignant look, "You had that thing since junior high."

"That just means it's dependable," Chad assured, he bounced the basketball and the ball jumped back up eagerly, Chad smiled, "You see, it hasn't lost any of its bounce." Chad failed to mention he pumped air into the old worn basketball but he figured Troy probably knew that already.

Troy laughed again, feeling light all of a sudden. It was good to be here with Chad, and he thought it would awkward but it wasn't, it was almost like it used to be, he thought with a little hope. The shaggy brunet wished for normalcy to return, and with the mend of his friendship with Chad it was a major step toward that wish coming true.

Watching Troy laugh, Chad couldn't help but remember all the times they used to hang out like this. He just wished Jason would have agreed to come.

As if sensing Chad's thoughts Troy asked, "Where's Jason?" he looked at Chad with eyebrows raised in question. The curly brunet's light stance turned stiff and Troy could feel all the light casualness drain, he inwardly winced, wishing he never asked the question at all.

"Uh, he has a class or something," Chad replied awkwardly, his brown eyes darted around suspiciously, forcing a sigh out of Troy.

"I could always tell when you were lying," Troy remarked. He looked off into another direction, watching the sparse cars whizz by the highway far into the distance through the gate, and when he heard the basketball bounce heavily on the cement floor he turned to find Chad looking at him with a reserved expression, his lips in a line and his eyes unblinking.

"Funny how I could never tell when you were," he tried to say it in the same light tone as Troy did but it came out bitter, and Chad automatically felt guilty the moment he heard himself. He shut his eyes, turning away from his best-friend—and he didn't even know if they were best-friends again or what. He just didn't want another label, he didn't want to classify Troy as someone who hurt him the way he did. He wanted things to be the way they once were: easy.

Suddenly the ball was snatched from Chad's hands, and the curly brunet turned quickly to face Troy but the shaggy brunet was a blur of red and black as he shot off across the court and shot in a basket. Troy grinned in triumph, catching the ball after it went through the net. He looked at Chad challengingly.

"Hey! That's cheating," Chad yelled out, running down the court, feeling the sudden weight on his shoulders dissipate in a round of one on one basketball with his new yet former best-friend.

And as they played like they used to Troy knew very clearly that this time it was starkly different. It was testing. And it may never be like it once was but at least there was the hope that it could be better. And Troy knew how to hope big.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

"So, how are your classes?"

Ryan inwardly cringed at the thought of his math-based classes but his father looked so filled with hope that he couldn't bring himself to drop his strained smile.

"Fine."

They continued to eat, clanking of metal utensils on ceramic plates droned on around the elegant restaurant, and Ryan wished the noise would get even louder just to drown out his own thoughts.

Eating with his father had never been this awkward, Ryan thought, even the first family dinner after his parents finally knew he was gay wasn't this quiet and that had been _extremely_ awkward. Now, it just seemed as if his father was forcing the casualness and familial closeness they used to share with ease.

And Ryan was getting tired of faking, it was like being on stage 24 hours, and you could only last so long before it drained everything from you.

Silence was never something Ryan associated with eating with any one of his family members, even his father. He sighed, "I decided to take on roommates," he had wanted to keep it secret but he was never really good with keeping things from his family.

"Oh?" His father looked up slightly surprised, then he grinned and Ryan suddenly felt better, "Well, that's great son! You'll be settled in, in no time," and just as suddenly Ryan's good feeling dissipated.

"Yeah," Ryan replied hollowly, '…_Settled in, is that what you call being stuck here….' _

"Why, it's been twenty minutes already?" his father exclaimed, his arm was raised as he looked at his wristwatch before leaving a fair amount of money next to the bill and getting up, "Do you need me to call you a cab?"

Ryan felt as if he was being rushed out but refrained from expressing it, "No, dad, you go ahead I have my car," they hugged briefly before his father headed out in a brisk walk and Ryan watched his father leave in amazing speed.

Sighing to himself he walked out of the elegant restaurant lit in deep blues and dark reds and into the dimming evening light outside.

He reached his car and sped off home, relieved to see the sight of his father's company shrink in the rearview mirror.

His walk to his apartment building was a quiet one, his thoughts ceasing as he concentrated on the cement ground, his shiny black shoes eating up the floor as he sped off to his building.

When he entered his apartment he was surprised to find Jason alone on the couch, his lanky body laid across the long couch asleep in front of the television. Ryan walked over to the television and turned it off, looking over to the raven-haired male he smiled slightly. Jason breathed softly, his chest raising and landing, and his dark hair splayed a little over his forehead and white couch.

Ryan figured the former wildcat looked comfortable in that spot and decided against waking him, instead he headed for his own room to call it a night.

When he reached his room he decided to read, he hasn't gotten a chance to really relax and unwind the past couple of days, and if nights were this quiet with his roommates he was suddenly glad to have the two other males share a home with him.

After a couple of hours he heard the far away unlocking of the front door, he figured it was Chad, and laid back on his bed, feeling his eyelids heavy and his body relax underneath the blankets.

Meanwhile, the curly haired male was in the living room watching his raven haired friend sleep soundly on the couch, going into the hallway he brought a light blanket and walked over to the couch where Jason laid.

Jason's face looked so relaxed and without any expression he looked …innocent. Chad chuckled at his own thoughts, laying the blanket over Jason's form and tucking it softy over Jason's shoulder.

Suddenly Jason stirred, his dark green eyes peaking open to reveal a blurred image of a curly haired head, "You're back?" He asked gruffly, his voice sleepy. Chad suddenly felt guilty for leaving Jason alone for the whole day. He had spent the entire day hanging out with Troy, and Jason must have spent the whole day here in the apartment, probably alone since Ryan had classes half of the day.

"Yeah," Chad bent down so he was eye-level with Jason, and Jason felt his cheeks heat at the closeness, "You get some sleep we have classes all day tomorrow," Chad smiled at him and Jason could only nod in response.

Chad got up and headed for the kitchen, "About today…" Chad turned around at the sound of Jason's quiet voice, he waited as the raven haired male looked down at the blanket around him, Chad felt a little caught, the heat of embarrassment washing over him briefly, "I'm sorry," Jason said.

The curly haired male chuckled, "Don't be," He reassured, "You have a right to stay mad, just…don't let it bother you if I decide to give him a chance," Chad watched Jason get up slowly, stretching his arms and arching his back with a yawn, like a cat, Chad wanted to say with a laugh but didn't mention anything.

"Yeah, sometimes I just, I don't know, I get angry," he shrugged, unwilling to explain himself and Chad felt a sudden urge to _know, _to get whatever it was that Jason was hiding out of him but it was late and they were both tired so he didn't push it, and so the topic dropped all together.

And as Jason and Chad went to their respective rooms, both of them forgot to acknowledge this was their first night spent at their new apartment together. Maybe they were just to tired to care.

_TBC _

**A/N:** I just wanted to say _thank you_ to those that reviewed! I really, really appreciate it. It makes me write like crazy. :D

This story means a lot to me because it has some personal stuff in it…I won't elaborate because it'll ruin the story but I hope you guys enjoy it. And any feedback or suggestions are welcome.


	3. Splintered light

—o—O—O—o—

**Room for Rent**

_Chapter 3: Splintered light._

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

A blaring beeping wrenched Chad out of his so sweet slumber, his eyelids flew open at the ear piercing noise.

"Argh!" Chad slammed his hand down in the general direction of his alarm clock. After his hand pressed at various objects on his dresser, knocking down the empty water bottle from the day before, he finally pressed his snooze button, then he pressed it again and again and again… until he finally realized the beeping wouldn't stop. Groaning further, he stretched his sleepy muscles, lifting his tired body to better see the irritating clock only to realize it wasn't his clock making the horrible noise.

He let out a long aggravated sigh, flopping to lie on his back, his arms stretched out across the mattress. He felt around for his pillow with his eyes shut, then pulled the pillow over his face, trying to muffle the irritating beeping. To his great irritation it only helped slightly …and he couldn't quite breathe.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep—_

"Chad!" The curly brunet pulled the pillow tighter around his ears.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep— _

"Chad!"

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep—_

"Cha—"

"WHAT?!"

Chad threw his pillow. It flew across his bed and plopped on the floor. Turning underneath his sheets he regarded the source of the yelling. Jason was standing at his threshold, his arm leaning against the doorframe tiredly with his plain white tee shirt wrinkled and his red and black stripped pajama pants hanging off his hips crookedly. His black hair stuck out at different angles and his face was lined in irritation and sleepiness. He seemed to be saying something, Chad thought, as he watched his lips move. The curly brunet sat up on his bed and huffed as the beeping continued.

"WHAT?" Chad yelled again over the noise.

Jason narrowed his dark eyes in irritation, "I said there's an alarm clock going off!" He screamed.

"Ya think?" Chad drawled as he rolled his eyes and got up from bed. Jason crossed his arms over his chest at his remark, waiting for the curly brunet to cross his room and go into the hallway.

Chad sighed again. It was 6 O'clock in the morning! He thought in annoyance, who in the world wakes up at this ungodly hour?

Jason and Chad looked at each other for a moment and shared a mutual look of irritation and weariness. They both padded over to the source of the noise, Jason bare foot and Chad in socks. The sound of water running was heard as they passed the bathroom, and Chad concluded that Ryan was taking a shower and forgot to turn off his alarm after hitting the snooze button. Jason wondered if every morning was going to be like this.

Finally reaching Ryan's room, they halted in front of the door, sharing another look, this time in agreement, they entered his room.

The door creaked open and revealed a startling empty room as the beeping increased in pitch. Jason glared at the bright clock, orange and _loud_, before he marched over and slammed the off button. He sighed in relief. His ears were finally at peace.

Chad stood stiffly, gazing around the room in confusion. Boxes lain unpacked, the closet was open and empty, and the only aspect of the room that indicted a person was living in it was the bed covered in rumpled sheets, a book over the dresser and the unusually bright orange digital clock. It was well over a week since Ryan gave Chad and Jason the tour of the apartment before they all agreed to live with each other and it looked exactly same. The rest of the apartment was unpacked and decorated. Even Chad and Jason placed all of their stuff in their respective rooms, why hadn't Ryan done the same?

"And I thought I was messy," Chad turned around at the sound of Jason's voice and watched as Jason looked around the eerily bare room then looked at Chad, "He didn't even make his bed."

"_You_ don't even make your bed," Chad remarked, "And it's not messy, it's just …bare." Jason titled his head as if asking Chad to elaborate. Chad chuckled at Jason's confused look. Sometimes the raven-haired male was too easy to read. "Look, he didn't even fill in his closet," Chad gave a meaningful look to Jason, "That should've been the first thing he did when he moved in."

"Why wouldn't he unpack then?" Jason asked, "You think he's not serious about this living together thing?" He looked a little worried. Chad shook his head in disagreement, "Well, then why wouldn't he unpack?" Jason asked.

"How should I know?" Chad shrugged. "He can't not be serious," Chad replied, "What would be the whole point of finding roommates then?"

"Well, it was just a theory," Jason said slightly miffed at Chad's dismissal. He folded his arms over his chest trying not to pout and when he heard chuckling he glared at Chad. "What?" He said slightly aggravated. It was too early for all this Jason thought. Thinking too early in the morning made his head hurt and the sound of Chad so chipper this early made him even more annoyed.

Chad just smiled brightly, "Come on," He bypassed Jason's question easily, "Let's make some breakfast."

Jason's features relaxed slightly at the change of topic and then he grinned at the prospect of food, following Chad as he led him into the kitchen.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

This morning he awoke unusually early. Ryan thought maybe it was because he went to sleep so early the night before. Letting the hard spray of water hit his back, he lowered his head, letting the stream of water go down his neck and chest, the hot water easing his sore muscles.

Today he would be with his father for the day, a sort of internship, he was told. He didn't know why, but the thought of spending time with his father didn't bother him as much as he thought it would. He couldn't really blame his father for anything. Not really.

Not after watching his father's eyes narrow in deep and troubled thought, his shoulders slightly slumped, and the lines on his face deepen. He had never seen his father look so worn and old.

He let his head fall back, the water hitting his face forcefully, he shut his eyes tightly.

He found himself missing the littlest things in his time in New York, like when he read over a script just to make sure he's using the exact words of the writer, the feeling of the soft velvet fabric of the stage curtain, the crowded bodied sidewalks of Broadway, the way his sister pinched his cheeks sharply to get them rosy, the anticipation tingling his nerves before show time, and then coming home and wishing his sister would just give him some space.

Well, he got his wish now he thought with some sad amusement.

Ryan turned the knob and the spray of water ceased as he stepped out of the shower.

He stood over the sink and gazed at himself in the mirror, his skin was damp and his wet blond locks hung around his face in strands, reaching just above his chin, fingering through his hair he realized it was due for a cut. He hadn't gone to the spa or hairdresser since his time with his sister. Usually she dragged him to those places, insisting he was beside her throughout her beauty treatments. Now, he didn't really have a thought to make the time for it. He looked at himself more deeply and decided his hair slightly longer seemed like a nice change. So, he let it be for now.

Combing his fair strands back, spraying cologne a bit, and then wrapping the towel more tightly around himself he stepped out of the warm bathroom, cut through the chilly hall, and went into his room.

Clattering of pots and laughing could be heard from the kitchen and Ryan had an inkling that a mess was being made, so he decided to get dressed more quickly and see what the two basketball players were up to.

As Ryan started off to the kitchen he felt the heat of the stove, and heard the soft banging of a wooden spoon against a pot along with the two jocks talking.

"Um," A slight pause, "I don't think Strawberry jam goes in the batter."

"I know what I'm doing," Ryan recognized as Chad's voice.

"Yeah but, strawberry pancakes need real strawberries," Jason replied.

"What's the difference?"

"This looks disgusting."

"Well, you're the one that wanted strawberry."

"No I wasn't."

When Ryan entered the kitchen he raised his eyebrows at the sight of Jason sitting atop the counter his head bent close to Chad's as the curly brunet stirred something in a rather large bowl. Chad stood over the counter clad in a t-shirt and blue-white stripped boxers with socks. Jason stuck a finger into the bowl and Chad hit his hand with the batter covered wooden spoon, "Don't," He warned.

Jason took a taste anyway, "Yeah, it's disgusting," he said unfazed by Chad's death glare.

Chad nudged his leg with the wooden spoon, "Well, maybe if you helped it would've came out better," he grumbled.

"Hey," Jason wiped the pink colored gunk off of his pajama pants, "I am helping!" He grinned, "I'm giving you emotional support," he laughed as Chad glared at him again.

Suddenly, Ryan found it very odd that Chad and Jason were cooking in their pajamas. He quickly forgot this thought as he caught sight of the mess of egg shells and the opened flour bag surrounded by the white powder on the counter opposite them.

"Ryan," The blond looked up in surprise as Jason gazed at him, "We're making strawberry pancakes, you want?"

"_I'm_ making strawberry pancakes," Chad corrected.

Jason jumped off the counter, ignoring Chad, "You want a stack?" He asked.

Ryan walked further into the kitchen, peering into the pinkish and slightly chunky batter, he shook his head, declining, "I'll …get something on the way," he smiled kindly.

"You're loss," Chad replied over his shoulder, pouring the gunk into the flat pan, the sizzling settled once the batter rounded in the pan.

Ryan walked into the dinning room and watched as the raven-haired male placed the plates on the round table, three plates, Ryan sighed, "I guess I'll have one." Jason grinned.

They all settled in their chairs, their seats evenly spread around the rather small table, and stared at each other for a moment.

"This is weird," Chad concluded.

Ryan agreed internally as he looked at the round pale pink pancake uneasily, and Jason nodded in agreement with Chad, although, they all couldn't tell which was weirder their joined breakfast or the breakfast itself.

"Well," Chad grinned, "Dig in!" he looked at both males encouragingly.

Ryan took a small bite as Jason stuffed a rather large piece into his mouth. Ryan's mouth twisted in sourness and Jason's cheeks puffed up. Chad blanched after swallowing his piece.

After a quiet moment, Chad looked up and chuckled a little, "How about we all get something on the way?"

"Yeah, cuz' this is disgusting," Jason added, Chad glared at the raven-haired male, and Jason looked sheepish, "I mean, disgusting in a good way," he smiled unapologetically.

Ryan laughed at the two jocks and decided he rather liked living with them so far.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

Later that afternoon Troy was sitting on a bench in front of the building of science and arts on campus when he saw Chad and Jason off in the distance. They were walking beside each other, Jason with his hands griping the straps of his backpack and Chad holding his textbook and notebook in one arm, talking and laughing about something. Troy watched as they headed down the hill and toward his direction.

He already felt uneasy. His friendship with Chad was at least making better progress but his friendship with Jason was almost nonexistent and no where near how it was before. And Troy had the toughest time trying to get Jason to hang out with him again. It seemed like every time he even mentioned Jason, Chad would make up excuses.

As Troy watched them together he found they were closer than he remembered. They just seemed like a pair that fit. Chad's energetic character matched well with Jason's quieter laid-back personality. They walked in sync, Chad gesturing animatedly as Jason's face lit up.

Troy sometimes felt out of place when he used to hang out with them last year before he decided to detach himself from his family and friends. In the first months Jason and Chad started to room together Troy had the distinct feeling that they made a better team than himself and Chad ever did. And now Troy started to think that maybe it wasn't that his friendship with Chad was any worse or lesser but that Chad and Jason's relationship was different.

Troy knew Chad since they were little kids, since the days when they were in diapers. How could he think then that Chad would ever shun him because of his sexuality? He knew his father would react the way he did but not Chad. After some time, Troy realized that his distance from Chad was a little because of his own feelings of suddenly being left out when Chad and Jason became closer. And that was such a stupid reason.

"Troy!"

Troy was torn out of his thoughts. His eyes widened slightly, not expecting Chad and Jason to be so close so soon. Chad's head was titled slightly as he regarded Troy with a half-smile, "Off in Troy-land," He teased. "Must be nice," he grinned.

Jason stood awkwardly. He was slightly behind Chad and looking off in another direction, his left foot digging at the ground. Troy felt a sting at the distance but buried it away quickly as he looked back at Chad. Troy plastered a grin on his face, "It is, there's a resort," Chad chuckled at that.

"Nice," Chad laughed. Then he grinned, "Our class was cancelled." Jason smiled as Chad looked back at him then he turned back to Troy, "So that means me and Jase have a full hour free!"

"Pretty lucky," Troy nodded, "So, where you guys headed?" He asked.

Chad looked back at Jason, who shrugged. "Uh, we don't know yet," Chad replied. "A whole hour full of possibilities!" Chad exclaimed. Jason rolled his eyes.

Troy laughed, "Well, I was just about to go to lunch, wanna join me?"

"Sure!" Chad said quickly then halted, slowly turning to look at Jason, forgetting that Jason would probably not like the idea of spending time with Troy as much as Chad would, "I mean, uh—"

Jason gave a small smile as he nodded, "Okay," he said simply. He turned away from Chad's surprised gaze and the curious gaze from Troy, and looked ahead out into the campus greenery in the other direction. Just because he agreed to lunch didn't mean he was all _buddy-buddy best-friends_ with Troy again.

"Uh, alright then, so lunch it is," Chad said, surprise still in his voice.

When Chad and Troy headed off before him Jason looked warily at the two before following. He didn't exactly _tell_ Troy they weren't friends anymore. He just kept his distance from the other male. Only Chad knew how he really felt about their estranged friend, well, Chad's formally estranged friend. And even Chad didn't know the full story. To Jason, being with Troy was just an awkward experience that brought out bad memories and the way he tended to deal with difficult things was by avoiding them. But Chad was making it _so_ difficult. Jason looked up.

"Jase?" Chad looked a little concerned.

"Yeah," Jason said feeling on the spot suddenly. Did I zone out again? He thought.

"I said where you do wanna eat?" Chad said, tilting his head slightly. He was giving him _that _look again. Jason felt like groaning in frustration. Why did Chad have to make him feel so guilty? Was it so wrong to not forgive? Isn't even more wrong to forgive someone when you're still angry with them?

Jason wanted to hang on to that bitter anger. And he was no where near ready to fully forgive him after what Troy cost him.

"That Chinese place by Raile Street looked good," Troy suggested. Troy always had a habit of shifting the focus on him. And Jason knew it wasn't fair to bring up childish emotions from High School, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to do it.

For a moment Troy looked slightly embarrassed, "That is if you want," he said quietly. But people mature, Jason suddenly realized. He watched as Troy looked at him hesitantly and Chad looked hopeful. Jason felt some of his anger drain away suddenly.

"Sure," Jason shrugged, "whatever." Troy gave Jason a half-smile and Jason gave him a small smile in return.

Chad grinned widely, "Well, Chinese it is!"

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

The straight back chair did nothing for his back. Ryan sat stiffly, looking longingly at the laid back swivel chair behind his father's desk. Turning back to the computer in front of him, the spread sheet blurred into a grey mess of twisted lines. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. It was eleven O'clock at night. The bright light inside the office was stark against the darkness peering in between the window blinds.

Ryan straightened in his seat, feeling his shoulders sore and the muscles on his back tense, for a brief moment he wised for someone to rub the tension away, before he stood up and left his father's office, heading for the copy room.

"Did you hear about Jensen? I think he's trying out for the Marquis Company."

"Oh, Hotels make good money." Another woman said.

"I know, I know, and he's still here, I wonder when—"

The voices cut off as soon as Ryan turned the corner, entering the copy room.

Ryan was getting used to listening in on parts of conversations by now. On his journey from his father's isolated office to the lower levels he found himself absorbing bits and pieces of information from one person or another and soon after Ryan concluded that it all amounted to nothing. It was just mindless gossip.

Secluded in the small copy room Ryan sighed, closing his eyes as he leaned against the wall, wondering why he would subject himself to this torture.

"Son, there you are!"

Ryan snapped his eyes open. "Hey dad," he replied. Standing up a bit straighter he opened the copy machine to put in his sheet. Fifty copies that will probably be thrown away, what a waste of paper, Ryan thought.

The copier beeped in completion, after spouting out the copies one by one quickly. Ryan watched the green ready light blink several times before he finally reached in and took out the copies.

His father stood at the doorway, watching him and when Ryan turned his eyes widened in surprise, forgetting his presence for a moment. His father looked so concerned, Ryan thought guiltily, "I made the copies," he said holding up the thick stack of sheets. He smiled, a strained stretch of his lips.

His father nodded, "I see," he said, eyes narrowing in further inspection of his son.

"Is there anything else?" Ryan asked. And for a strange moment he felt like one the maids at the Evans Estate. His father's widening set of eyes showed Ryan that he wasn't the only one who thought the same.

"No, Ryan," Mr. Evans said, "Why don't you go home," he smiled.

"Okay," Ryan said, a little startled at the gentleness in his father's voice.

And that was how his first day working at the Evans's Company ended, an awkward goodbye from his father in the copy room at nine minutes past eleven O'clock at night.

So, Ryan found himself in the crisp and chilly air near the University. The darkness engulfed everything except what was illuminated under the street lights. Ryan walked briskly from the garage closer to the University to his building, the walk seemed longer tonight.

Ahead he saw someone leaning against the street lamp in the park in front of his apartment building. He had head full of dark shaggy hair, broad shoulders and a tall lean frame shown by the little light among the shadows. Ryan watched as the male looked up at the sky. Ryan looked up as well and noticed for the first time how many stars were shining that night. They were so bright and for a moment Ryan stood in the middle of the path just to look up and take in all the small beautiful lights scattered across the vast dark sky.

Suddenly Ryan looked ahead again and was startled to find the man in the park standing straight and looking directly at him. Feeling a little embarrassed Ryan started to walk toward his building again. He felt slightly foolish for copying the stranger's actions. Ryan could feel the stranger's eyes on him as he walked closer to the front door.

"Ryan?"

Ryan halted at the sound of his name. That voice almost sounded like—

"Troy?" Ryan was looking at Troy Bolton.

_TBC_

**A/N:** Argh... I just found out Ryne Sanborn, the actor who plays Jason Cross, has hazel eyes not green …well for the sake of this story Jason Cross has green eyes and since this story is in no reflection of Ryne Sanborn whatsoever it's all good :D

Also, if you guys want to know the status of the next chapter, like how much I've written and what I'm up to, I usually post something on my profile every week, usually on a Tuesday or Monday, maybe on a Sunday. That goes for my other story too.

As for this chapter, not much really happens except some foreshadowing and showing a little bit of Jason and Troy's relationship and what may have happened in the past. Sorry for the cliffy but next chapter will show what happens there :D …and also what happened at lunch with the awkward three lol.

Thanks for the reviews! I really, really appreciate them.


	4. Familiarity with unease

—o—O—O—o—

**Room for Rent**

_Chapter 4: Familiarity with unease._

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

When the three males went to the Chinese restaurant that afternoon, the chills of autumn seeped through their still summer clothing, making Goosebumps flare on Troy's arm. The sun still shone brightly, yet the rays were weak in their heat.

A _bing _was heard as Chad opened the door.

Troy and Jason followed the eager curly brunet as the hostess greeted them and led them to a booth table.

Chad and Jason decided to sit opposite Troy. The shaggy brunet felt uncomfortable already. The two across from him stared at him, and Troy felt on trial—as if Chad and Jason were judges and he was a criminal awaiting a verdict.

He was being silly, he knew, but he couldn't help but feel the stand-offish vibe from Jason and the forced comfort Chad was unknowingly emitting. It all reeked of awkwardness. And it made Troy feel really tense.

"Drinks?" The waitress asked, breaking the silence. A young petite woman with wavy brown hair handed each of them a menu. Troy had zoned out for awhile, he guessed, since he didn't even see her approach their table.

"Yeah, that'd be great," Chad smiled at her, "Water, please."

Jason watched as she gave him an attractive lingering smile before she turned to Troy, "And you?"

"Uh, I'll have soda, I guess, Pepsi," He said distractedly. He felt uncomfortable. He wanted to get out of here. He felt trapped. He swallowed thickly, regretting this lunch outing. _Why did I suggest this?_ He needed to calm down! There was no use in panicking now.

"Sprite," Jason said tersely, a little rudely too. Chad watched as Jason turned away, looking out the window beside the table. His chin rested on his fist and his lips drooped into a frown.

"Okay, I'll be back," She said. Chad turned his attention back to the pretty waitress and was rewarded with another lingering smile just for him. The curly brunet was all too pleased.

Chad watched her retreating figure, "She's cute," He said.

"Yeah, whatever," Jason muttered. Chad quirked an eyebrow at his grumpy tone, but Jason's eyes remained fixed out the window.

Troy chuckled, "She was definitely checking you out."

Chad grinned, "Really?" He asked. Then he stretched out in his seat, "Well, who could blame her?"

Jason snorted humorlessly. Chad glared at the raven-haired male, "What's with _you_?"

"Nothing," he replied, his voice flat. He turned to look at his menu. He felt an unexplained irritation crawl its way into his nerves and it wouldn't leave him alone. He decided to blame Troy for it. Looking up from his menu Jason glared at the shaggy brunet briefly before turning his attention back to the menu in front of him.

Troy hadn't noticed the heated glare anymore than he noticed Chad's look of concern as he zoned out again. His thoughts were centered on trying not to make this awkward. _Don't mess this up, Bolton. _

"Troy? You okay there buddy?" Chad asked. _Great, I made it awkward_, Troy thought in irritation.

He smiled, shaking his head of all thoughts. "Yeah, I'm cool," Troy said, looking back at his menu, he decided on Chicken with fries.

Chad watched as the waitress came toward them from a table a little far away. His eyes lowered to her short skirt, black and stark against the white apron, his eyes travelled the length of her body to her knowing smile and dark eyes glinting in amusement. He blushed in embarrassment.

"Decided yet?" she asked, she flipped her wavy strands out of her eyes as she readied her small notepad.

"Yes," Chad smiled widely, "I'll get the Beef with Broccoli."

Jason watched as she jotted it down and gave Chad another smile. When she looked at him Jason glared, "Chicken and rice," he said curtly then he turned away to the window again. Chad elbowed him, and Jason ignored him.

_What the hell is up with him?_ Chad thought in annoyance. He's the one that agreed to come and now he's acting like a wet blanket.

"I'll get Chicken with fries," Troy said simply. The waitress gave him a polite smile.

Soon their drinks arrived and soon after so did their food. As well as more smiles exchanged between Chad and the pretty waitress, Troy watched in amusement.

"Just ask her out," Troy laughed.

"Her name is Cameron," Chad said, his voice suspiciously dreamy. He tried to not look at her chest but the name tag _was_ there, he innocently thought. And so if his eyes wandered…

Jason remained quiet. He ate slowly, stabbing at his rice soaked in duck sauce.

"So," Troy drawled out, looking between both males in front of him, "How's everything? You know, school an' everythin'." His mouth was full of fries and Chad laughed at the sight.

"We didn't get any assignments yet, thank god," Chad heaved out a dramatic sigh. Troy chuckled as he tore into his chicken.

Jason looked up after a prolonged silence, figuring it was his turn to speak, he shrugged, "Its okay," he replied.

Troy and Jason shared an awkward look, and Chad helplessly chuckled, trying to lighten the mood that was already starting to get tenser and tenser.

There was more conversation made, mostly meaningless small talk but Jason was unusually quiet throughout it all.

Jason felt a lingering look in his direction, Chad was probably concerned, he thought in annoyance. Well, let him be then. Jason didn't care. His irritation was growing and it was starting to give him a headache. He didn't want to be here and he was sure Troy was the reason.

He had to be.

The waitress winked at Chad as she passed their table.

Jason stabbed at his rice again.

"Hey, when are we gonna have practice?" Chad asked suddenly. And as soon as that question was uttered Chad noticed the complete shift. Jason sat rigid in his seat, not eating just as Troy's eyes widened.

"Um," Troy cleared his throat in discomfort, "I think around a week or so, I haven't heard anything yet," Troy looked at Jason uncomfortably. _Should I ask? No, that wouldn't be right, but maybe it's okay—_

Jason matched his stare, "What?" He gritted out. _It's not okay_, Troy thought anxiously, _and he still didn't change his mind, not even a year later_.

Chad looked between the two in confusion, _what the hell just happened?_ Chad thought, his eyebrows furrowed as he watched Jason's eyes harden. And Troy looked so …rigid as if any sudden move would get him eaten alive.

The silence was tense.

"Uh," Troy hesitated, "Are you—I mean did you still decide to not be," He trailed off. He averted his gaze from Jason's glowering dark ones.

Jason gave a mirthless chuckle, "What? Say it."

Troy shook his head, "You still …quit?" He sounded dejected.

Chad jerked in surprise, "What?" Chad looked at Jason, "Quit? What? What'd you mean quit?" _He's lying…_

"No," Jason felt his anger hot against his throat, "I didn't _change my mind_," he practically sneered. God, he hated being here. He hated Troy.

Troy sat back, feeling his chest compress, "I didn't mean—you still were—I-I'm sorry, okay," Troy finally said, he looked at Jason helplessly.

Jason turned away. He couldn't deal with this. He didn't want him to be sorry, he wanted to hate him. He needed to hate him.

Chad couldn't stop staring, absorbing everything, anything that could clue him in as to what happened between them.

Jason stood up, dropping a ten dollar bill on the table, "Excuse me," he said as he pushed past Chad.

Then he briskly walked out of the restaurant.

Chad watched as Troy looked down, defeated. _Why is Jason making this so hard?_

Suddenly Chad felt angry, why doesn't Jason just let go whatever it was he's holding over Troy?

Looking at Troy's downcast form, he's been punished enough.

"Troy..?" Chad tried, but Troy shook his head. He would never betray Jason's trust, and that just made Chad even angrier at Jason. So, Chad left a ten dollar bill and left Troy in the booth table.

He didn't even get that waitress's number!

Chad sighed, stepping out of the restaurant and looking down the block.

_Damn it. Jason where the hell did you go?_

A mop of jet-black hair two blocks away was all Chad saw amid the sea of people in the sideway. Mostly college students from Albuquerque were hanging about, Chad rushed through the lazy crowd in frustration.

"Jason!" He called out. He skidded by groups of people, muttering "excuse me" every few moments or so.

"Jason!" Chad was closer now. After one more call, Jason turned around. His eyes widening slightly in surprise before he narrowed them into a glare and turned back around. He kept a fast stalk down the block.

"Jason!" Chad called again. When Jason walked faster, Chad started to jog, "Damn it Jason! Turn around, you—"

"What?!" Jason yelled. He halted, whipping around fast. He looked furious.

"What the hell happened?" Chad asked, his arms flying about. He panted slightly as he regained his breath. "Jason, you quit?"

"Whatever, it doesn't matter," Jason replied coldly.

"Why are you so—God!" Chad yelled in frustration, "Can't you just try to be friends with Troy?" He pleaded.

_Jason looks …sad and frustrated and hurt—_"Why can't I just—just make him fade away until he's just an acquaintance–until all I have to say is hi to him?!" Jason screamed. His breath ran out for a moment, panting. Chad stared at him uncertainly and Jason felt his anger grow, "Why are you making me do this?" He asked desperately.

Chad's lips parted as if he was about to speak but nothing came. Jason glared again, for good measure, before he turned around and started walking away from him again.

Chad stood in the middle of the sidewalk, staring at Jason's back as he left him. _Damn it! Jason_, Chad growled internally. _You can't just do that!_

Jason walked as fast as he could but the curly brunet always was faster than him. He caught up with him in little time, tugging his arm and making him spin around. "What?!" Jason cried, furious.

Chad tugged on his arm harder, "You think that's the answer to everything, right? Run away from anything that requires work," His brown eyes turned hard, sparked with conviction. "You don't even have a reason to stay mad anymore! You just want to keep things easy," he accused.

Jason snatched his arm away roughly, "You don't know anything!" He narrowed his suddenly jade eyes, "So don't think you're mister fix-it because you have no idea—" Chad grabbed his arm again, "Let go!"

"No!" Chad yelled, "Not until you tell me!"

Jason pushed Chad, "God! You're so irritating!" Jason growled, "Leave me the fuck alone." Then he stormed off.

And Chad looked at the hand he tried to grab Jason with. All he wanted was for him to stay and now he left him all alone.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

Class was unbearable.

His mind distracted, all Jason could do was remember lunch. His sleeve was stretched from where Chad pulled at it. Jason traced his fingers over it as the professor droned on.

He hated fighting with Chad. And the last thing he wanted to do was make his friend upset with him but he just didn't understand. He didn't get it.

Jason snorted self-deprecatingly. Of course he couldn't get it, could he? Jason didn't tell him a thing.

Honestly, Jason didn't want him to _get it_. He didn't want him to _know_.

He was so embarrassed and angry. As he remembered last year, he wanted to just forget it all happened. Yet, at the same time he wished things could have gone differently. If only Troy hadn't let him down, if only—

But Troy did let him down. He said he could depend on him. He said he would be there. But he never showed. He left Jason all alone and all of Jason's hope deflated.

His chance was gone forever.

God, he just wanted a chance to really know, to find out the _truth_—but now he could never get that chance. He needed to let it go. It's over. He won't get another chance again. Never. Everyone was bent on lying to him anyway, so he should just let it be. Let them all keep him from knowing the truth, maybe it was better that way.

His family was always good at hiding things.

Class was over before Jason knew it. He found himself walking down the path leading toward the residential area and finally into his building.

He wanted to just lay down. He wanted to forget this day ever happened. Seeing Troy brought out his anger and resentment.

His trust in him—in everything—was forever shattered by that one day.

It rained that day. How symbolic, Jason thought sarcastically, how perfect. He remembered nothing but the cold drenched feeling of the winter rain, the dreary sky, the puffed bruised clouds. He remembered looking up at them, the cold water hitting his face sharply as he wondered, _"Where are you?"_

He shut his eyes as the prickles of chills swept through his body.

Then he open his eyes again, cold drops running down his hair, forehead, cheeks, and neck, until it soaked his clothes.

He had asked the darkening sky, _"Where are you?"_

_I hate that question._

He shivered. He felt so cold.

He kept waiting.

Jason gave a snort at his former naïve self, he waited like a pathetic puppy. All he needed was a friend. All he needed was a god damn dependable person in his whole fucking life. And as soon as the memories flooded his anger burned his chest. He fists clenched. It served him right. He knew better than to trust anyone.

He unlocked the door a bit more roughly than he intended.

Entering the apartment, he was met with silence.

Chad still didn't come back from class, and Jason didn't want to be here when he showed up, so he left the living room and went into his room.

Shutting the door behind him, he collapsed back first into his bed, throwing his arm over his eyes as he sucked in a breath.

He felt his anger burn into hurt and he hated that feeling. When his fury turned into a shaky pain, it reminded him of how his mother would make him feel sometimes. Those times when he would let her bitterness get to him.

Sighing, he lifted himself off of his bed and sat down at his desk, opening up his laptop. He needed to start his English paper, and for some reason he felt better when he was writing. He felt better when he typed. It was mindless. It was perfect.

Last year Chad had found out about his secret love of writing. The curly brunet had a habit of finding out things about him. He was the only friend that really _knew_ him. And that was scary.

It was hard for him to trust someone, even his own family.

His family, Jason snorted mirthlessly, that was the topic that brought all of these problems, his mother especially, his brother occasionally. He felt bad every time he left little William alone with them, yet, his little brother always seemed like he never knew what was going on all around him. Sometimes Jason wished he was like that.

He wished he was oblivious to the underlining resentment and carefully constructed lies his mother was the master of.

The door creaked open. Jason spun around in his chair and watched Chad peak his head in. Jason spun back around and proceeded to ignore the curly brunet.

The noise of his fingers clicking the keys on the keyboard filled the room.

"Hey," Jason heard Chad's hesitant voice, and after some silence he spoke again. "…Jase?"

Jason continued typing.

"Look," Chad's footsteps were faint on the carpeted floor, but his presence was felt as he came just behind the raven-haired male, "I overreacted, and I guess you're mad at me right?" Jason snorted, "Okay, you're mad at me, I don't blame you….Jase? Come on, talk, please," Chad pleaded.

The typing halted and Jason swiveled around again, folding his arms over his chest, "Are you going to keep pushing me to talk to Troy?" He asked pointedly, Chad winced.

"I thought you were okay there for second, you're the one that said it was okay when I asked about lunch with him," Chad sat down on Jason's bed, "What happened?"

"I have a lot of stuff to do," Jason said, spinning around again, his back to Chad, "So," he trailed off. Chad knew it was his cue to leave but something forced him to stay.

"Jason," Chad stated, "Are you …" He sighed and Jason tensed, "Are you ever going to tell me…why?"

Jason said nothing.

Chad sighed as he lifted himself off of Jason's bed, "When you're ready, you can always come to me," Chad said when he stood up and just before he left his room he added quietly, "Just like I always came to you."

The door creaked close, and Jason relaxed. He smiled a little as he went over Chad's faint words. Maybe he owed it to the curly brunet after all the times Chad trusted him. But… it wasn't that easy.

He trusted Chad, he did, but it was hard. It was hard to really depend on someone again…to be vulnerable

And to tell Chad what happened between himself and Troy, it was going to lead to more questions…questions about his family. And those were questions he really didn't want to answer, not yet. Maybe never.

His family, it was a sore and sensitive topic to Jason. He would rather have the illusion everyone else created of them than the reality of it all.

Jason just hated his family.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

The night air was cool. The wisps of wind were barely felt as they brushed against the tan skin of Troy's arms and neck.

Troy gazed around the park. The darkness made it impossible to see anything far ahead except under the circle of light surrounding the street lamps.

He took a deep breath.

His chest filled with the cool air and lifted the ache in his chest slightly but when he breathed out the ache returned again. He felt a little better though.

He heard faint footsteps but he didn't move to see who it could be instead he looked up at the sky.

Strands of his hair fell out of his eyes and into his hair as he gazed at the millions of small lights scattered across the blue-black sky. Looking up at the vast sky made him feel small suddenly.

It made the ache in his chest lessen as he considered the insignificance of his problem compared to the hugeness of the sky. He imagined millions of people looking up at the same sky with millions of problems of their own.

He sighed, wishing he could feel better about his own situation but it was never really easy when you weren't someone else. Things always seemed easier from an outside perspective.

_It always seems so much worse when the moment is in the present instead of the long past, _he thought. He hoped for the future to come faster already. He was ready for all this to be in his past.

The sound of the faint footsteps grew louder and then they suddenly stopped.

Feeling a little startled at the cease of noise, Troy turned to see this stranger. He was a blond male.

Troy squinted slightly, standing up straight. He watched as the man about his age looked up at the same sky.

The little light only showed the color of his hair and slight glimpses of his clothes. The suit he wore was dark and covered by the shadows of the trees.

Suddenly the blond looked straight at him. Troy saw the other male's eyes widen slightly. It felt so familiar. And then the blond started walking quickly into the building. Troy watched closely, trying to see any other details, anything more familiar.

As the blond walked Troy could see more clearly his silky blond hair, a pale blue dress shirt, pale skin, rosy cheeks—

"Ryan?"

Troy said the name before he had a chance to think it. He watched as the blond—Ryan slowly turned around.

Troy noticed his hair fell just above his chin. He looked confused, "…Troy?" His lips parted just a breath a part. His eyes narrowed at Troy as if confirming it was actually the brunet.

Troy walked closer, tilting his head and smiling, "Yup, that's me." He took in the full sight of the blond male before him and felt his mouth dry. He didn't remember Ryan looking this good in High School, Troy thought distractedly.

Suddenly, Troy wanted to hug the blond, a familiar face, one that didn't bring feelings of regret. He didn't give into the urge though. Ryan was a friend but not someone he was close to. Ryan always seemed out of reach in High School, someone who wanted his space.

Ryan smiled, a small lift of his pale reddish lips, "Wow, Troy." He seemed a little out of it. "I just can't believe you're here," he said then he laughed a little, "I mean here," He gestured to the area around them and Troy found himself laughing too.

"Me? I can't believe you're here, I thought you were in New York," Troy said, and then Ryan's eyes changed. His uplifted pale blue eyes flattened and hardened but his smile remained. Troy felt he said something wrong, he could see it in the way Ryan forced the smile to stay on his lips, the way he averted his gaze.

"I'm going to Albuquerque University now," he said looking at the tree just behind Troy. His voice light but his body tense, "I guess we'll be seeing each other a lot, huh?" He looked at Troy, his eyes glowed, "I didn't think I'd see you so soon though."

"You're going here?" Troy asked stunned, "Oh, I didn't think—I mean," Troy chose his words carefully, "I didn't expect that." Something told him asking questions as to the reason for his sudden return to New Mexico might be too personal, if Ryan's eyes were any indication. It was obvious the blond didn't want to talk about it.

Ryan stared at him for a moment, and Troy felt warmth that had nothing to do with the weather. He knew his body well enough to realize he was attracted to Ryan. He turned his focus away from the blond and instead looked at his building, "You live in there," he said surprised, and when Ryan nodded he grinned, "Me too."

Ryan jerked, clearly surprised, his eyes were wide, "Really? Chad and Jason never mentioned it."

"Chad and Jason?" Troy asked in confusion, "You see them?"

"I live with them."

Troy felt anger wash over him briefly—in all of their lunch together they couldn't mention a thing.

Then he realized how brief lunch actually was not to mention how it ended.

Feeling deflated, Troy held in a sigh, "I don't really see them that much," Troy said flatly. "I live in A6." He thought it best to change the topic from the two jocks.

Apparently, informing him about their new roommate wasn't important or Troy wasn't important enough to be informed at all. Whatever their reasons he felt closer to Ryan then he did with them. And he just saw Ryan for the first time today, how pathetic was that?

"I live in E4," Ryan smiled faintly. And after a quiet moment, Ryan watched Troy closely. Troy didn't know for what until Ryan said in an amused voice, "You haven't changed much, Troy."

Troy felt his face heat, he was thankful for the darkness. "Your hair," he said dumbly, "I mean, you grew out your hair," _And you seem quieter_, Troy thought.

Ryan seemed to be silenced and Troy didn't know what to make of it. Sure Ryan wasn't talkative in High School but he was more expressive, now, he seemed different.

"Yeah," Ryan chuckled, "I guess I wanted a change, you know?" He turned back to look at the entrance of his building, "You going in? It's getting pretty late."

"Yeah," Troy said, feeling lighter than he did when he stepped out. "I think, I just might," he smiled.

"So, rooming with Chad and Jason, huh?"

"Yeah," Ryan chuckled, "It's not as bad as I thought it would be."

Troy laughed. For the first time this week, hell, this year, he felt at ease with someone familiar.

And it felt great.

_TBC_

**A/N:** Hope you guys liked it! And thanks for the reviews!


	5. Bright blinds

—o—O—O—o—

**Room for Rent**

_Chapter 5: Bright blinds_

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

Ryan spent most days avoiding his own thoughts. Skimming across the surface of his mind—it made it easier to go to class, study, and then work at the small desk designated for him, right by his father's larger oak one.

Skimming across the surface—he could avoid the vacuum that was the rest of his mind, sucking him into a spiral of painful thoughts.

_I need to focus. _

After watching his father's face age before his eyes—worn eyes, tired, but still struggling and fighting. Ryan willed himself to work hard too. If his father needed him to maintain the family business, no matter how much Ryan disliked math, ladder-climbing to success, and business in general, he would learn what he needed to learn.

As long as he kept himself busy, purposeful, the years will pass by more easily. He couldn't give himself time to dwell on the numbness spreading in his chest. He couldn't focus on the melting of time—he couldn't. Because if he did that, he was sure he'd die.

So, he built a routine.

In the mornings he would run, just a jog around the park near the apartment building. In the afternoons he would attend his classes. And in the evenings he would go to the Evans' company headquarters to help his father.

He barely had time. And when he did have time he usually spent it in his room sleeping, reading those ridiculous romance novels his sister must have sneaked in his bags, or studying.

_And avoiding anything theatrical._

Ryan put the novel in his drawer before he left his room, and gently closed his bedroom door behind him. It was very early in the morning and his roommates were still sound-asleep.

As he entered the kitchen he jerked in surprise. There stood Jason, looking as if he just rolled out of bed, his pajamas were wrinkled and his hair was all over the place.

"Good morning," Ryan said brightly.

Jason grunted in greeting. It was obvious that he still wasn't fully awake.

And suddenly, Ryan was struck by the fact that he _never_ saw his roommates.

Usually, Ryan would leave the apartment early to jog while Chad and Jason were still asleep. Then by the time he came back, the jocks had already left for class. And then by the time Ryan came back late at night from his father's company, Chad and Jason were already asleep.

Ryan watched Jason groggily rummage though the cabinets for food mindlessly.

"On the left," Ryan helped. Jason grunted again, this time in appreciation, at least that was what Ryan thought it meant.

Ryan stood awkwardly in the kitchen as Jason grabbed the box of cereal and dumped half its contents into the bowl with his eyes half-closed.

"You're up early," Ryan said lightly.

Jason nodded with a mumble of something that sounded like "yeah."

Ryan had the urge to ask about Troy. Seeing Troy the week before, Ryan had thought it was strange how Troy didn't know he was rooming with his supposed best-friends. But Ryan doubted Jason was capable of speech right now. He doubted Jason would even remember he _saw_ Ryan at all this morning, never mind that he spoke to him.

Concluding that Jason wasn't quite a morning person, Ryan decided he'll ask him about it later. And although he found it strange that Jason was awake this early in the morning, he didn't think to deeply on it.

He didn't want to poke the surface of his mind.

He just said his farewell and left the quiet male in the kitchen to eat.

After all, Ryan didn't want the day to leave him.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

Chad first started to notice Jason was avoiding him when he found the bathroom empty.

That in itself was unusual.

Chad remembered when rooming with Jason last year, how Jason would _always_ be in the bathroom before Chad. And so Chad would _always_ bang on the door impatiently, and then Jason would _always_ get out, usually grumbling something Chad never quite caught.

And this year was the same, until today.

Today, no one was in the bathroom or the whole apartment.

And then Chad realized Jason didn't eat dinner with him the day before, or play video games with him the afternoon before that. He would just say something about having to write his English paper and then lock himself in his room.

And in class, Jason wouldn't say much. His eyes would get that faraway look as if his head was filled with so many thoughts that Chad thought better than to bother him.

So, standing in front of the unlit, empty bathroom, Chad determined that Jason was avoiding him.

As soon as the thought registered, Chad instantly thought about Troy this time last year. He avoided him the same way in the beginning. And when Chad started to think in _that_ way it made him feel really bad.

_Why are all my friends leaving me?_

Chad sighed heavily. He felt his chest ache.

Jason was supposed to be the one friend that wouldn't let him down. He said he would never leave.

_He promised_, Chad thought desperately.

_What if it's happening all over again_? Chad thought in panic.

And suddenly Chad was back in the year before, one year younger, and one year less smart.

Watching Troy walk off, Troy's words echoing, overlapping, and indiscernible—he couldn't hear a word—all Chad felt was a hole in his chest growing.

All Chad could do was stand on the broken sidewalk outside their dormitory and watch his best-friend's form shrink in the distance.

Chad never could remember what Troy said that made him feel so abandoned and hurt. He just remembered feeling very, very alone.

It felt as if his brother had up and left him without a reason that Chad could understand.

And if Chad had no reasons…he started to think maybe the reasons lied within himself.

But that was last year, Chad breathed, _last_ year. This year things were different, they were going to be better, or so Chad hoped.

Stepping into the bathroom, Chad started to wash up. He needed to hurry and get to class.

He decided he'll confront Jason later today. _Who knows?_ Maybe the whole Jason-avoiding-him thing was just his overactive imagination playing with him. Because Chad _knew_ Jason would never leave him.

_He promised he wouldn't. _

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

Lately, Jason couldn't get Troy out of his head. He couldn't get his stupid remorseful face off of his mind.

_Why is this bothering me so much? _Jason thought. He thought hard.

Troy's eyes looked so sad.

Blue eyes like twin oceans.

Something in Jason's hardened heart just slipped and broke. He couldn't understand it. How can you become uncaring and hurtful one year and then change completely the next?

How can Troy be so...so _confusing? _

Something just didn't feel right, the whole situation felt off. And what surprised Jason was that it wasn't Troy that felt off but something else entirely.

And Jason couldn't figure out what it was.

It was the same feeling he got when his mother scolded him too harshly. When he watched her disapproving eyes, flat and hard, pursed lips—Jason felt his chest tighten and pinched. He knew she was overreacting but it still made him feel bad, it still made him feel like he was in the wrong.

It felt the same. The way Troy's eyes looked so unlike what they should. Jason expected to see some smugness, or indifference, maybe even guilt. What he didn't expect to see was the innocent hurt gaze boring into him. Jason was so sure Troy knew what he had done was wrong. But now all Jason could think about was how Troy looked like some little kid who didn't know why everyone was so mad at him.

It reminded Jason about the times he would wonder why his mother would get so angry with him, why she was so against everything he did.

Troy reminded Jason of himself.

Jason's eyes would always cloud over and blur as they settled on a spot behind her head, past her light brown hair, straight and long. Jason would wonder how her words were so sharp when her voice was so leveled. She didn't scream, and she never yelled.

Instead, her voice, like gentle pricks from a single sharp tack, slowly dug and dug at you. And you wouldn't feel the pain until you were already cut. Until all that remained was a bleeding gash. And the damage was already done.

"_I don't see what you like about that…sport."_

"_I never see your brother David waste his time like that."_

"_The factory is right here, your uncles work there, your brother works there… I don't see why you want to waste four years of your life."_

Subtle, sharp, and painful, her voice was flippant but precise.

Sometimes her eyes became distant. As if she weren't talking to him but someone else entirely.

And when he really paid attention, an unsettling feeling would center in his gut.

He knew something was off, and he knew it had something to do with his father, the father that left them but never seemed to really disappear. His absence, the emptiness—it was like a presence itself.

And Jason had to wonder, was the person she was talking to… his father?

But Jason pushed away that thought. He had enough of searching for answers that just brought more questions—

"_Jason Myers Cross you pay attention when your mother is speaking to you."_

_I'm always listening, mom. I always listen. _

He still loved his mother.

And she loved him too.

He knew she loved him, but those flippant digs came too often. And Jason didn't know how long ago the gentle pricking at his chest began. All he knew was the pain gnawing at his chest, and the cut that had remained.

He rubbed his chest absently, as his eyes focused. The image of his mother wavered and then dissipated until a black laptop with a semi-half-finished paper glaring from within it was all that was left.

Jason closed his laptop, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Two paragraphs…it's been a week and he only got as far as the first two paragraphs.

Suddenly, he heard the front door open. Jason knew it was Chad coming back from class. Sitting at his desk, Jason was glad he had an excuse to stay in his room. He didn't want to face Chad's questions, especially the ones concerning why he quit the basketball team. Jason wasn't sure he was ready to rehash the hasty reason for _that_.

Then the door to his room was opened quickly, the click of the door loud in the quiet room startled Jason. He turned around and found Chad standing in the threshold of his door.

Chad and Jason stared at each other for a long moment.

"You're avoiding me," Chad said simply. His eyes looked determinedly into Jason's as he stepped further into the room.

Jason held back a sigh, "I have to finish my paper," he knew he didn't sound all that convincing but it helped prolong the inevitable questioning Chad was sure to start.

Chad's lips thinned as he stood straight. He crossed his arms over his chest stubbornly, "You're still avoiding me," he said. Then his lips quirked into an odd smirk, "And your laptop is closed."

Jason's eyes darted to his computer quickly, seeing the sleek black flat body of his computer, he felt his jaw twitch. _Damn it!_

Chad's smirk turned into an amused smile. Jason glared, "Well, I needed to think for awhile…" Jason muttered.

Then Chad chuckled, "Just admit you were doing absolutely nothing," he said.

Picking up the novel he was supposed to write an interpretation about, Jason brought it in front of him, "And I was reading too," he replied. He glared again when Chad snorted.

"Yeah right," Chad said.

"I was too," Jason pouted.

"We all know you were sitting here brooding," Chad remarked.

Jason briefly wondered who this 'we' included before he replied, "I-I really need to finish—"

"Jason, just tell me what's up, _please_?" Chad looked desperate. And Jason felt guilty. He hadn't really meant to ignore Chad. He knew Chad would never push for answers, and really Chad wasn't that type of person.

But Jason knew Chad deserved some type of explanation…and Jason wasn't sure he was ready to give it.

Jason was just so confused that his head hurt. He just needed time away from…everything. And hiding from Chad was just easier. He couldn't really explain it.

Jason looked down at the book in hands. It wasn't a very heavy book but he felt its edge press into his worn jeans. He pressed one of its pages between his fingers absently. Right now, he didn't want to look at Chad. So he let his eyes fall on the book on his lap as he spoke.

"I was just…thinking," Jason said quietly. And when Chad said nothing, Jason took a deep breath, "I-I wasn't trying to avoid you on purpose but…I can't explain everything right now."

_How long can I put off telling him?_

When Jason lifted his head slowly, he was startled to find Chad's deep brown eyes completely focused on him.

And for an odd moment Jason felt frozen under the intense stare.

"But are we cool?" Chad said finally.

"Yeah," Jason replied automatically.

"And by right now…you mean you'll tell me later?" Chad said carefully.

Jason nodded.

"Okay," Chad smiled.

Jason smiled back, feeling a sudden relief.

"Cool," Chad said, "So how 'bout we play some guitar hero," he grinned.

Jason looked down at his book briefly before he tossed it aside, "You mean how 'bout _I _whip your butt at guitar hero," he grinned.

Chad scoffed but he couldn't hide his grin under the roll of eyes.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

The beat was a rhythmic thumping that synced with your heart. Crackling and shredding—the guitar, the sounds, your senses, the lights were blindingly intense one moment and then blackened the next. Heat and moisture, bodies sliding against one another—it looked repellent at first. Until your cool skin hit the damp heat, and it absorbed you in. Until your eyes slid close and you felt nothing but the thumping in your veins. Your body swaying, you're pulled in.

It was hopelessly addictive.

The stereo on his computer blasted a gritty rock song.

Troy was sitting at his desk, his head bopping to the thrums of the bass, and his pencil tapping against the table as fast as the drums. Flashes of those heated nights, Troy could close his eyes and feel his body immersed within the crowd—part of the body of people dancing in the dark club.

Then the song ended, and Troy blinked.

It was strange, he mused. Out of everything that happened last year, his mind kept replaying the times he spent just dancing in night clubs. He guessed maybe it was better than remembering everything else. Maybe dancing was the only thing he experienced that made him feel good.

It was the only memory he could drag out of the mud of events. From the pain of his father's words to the pain of alienating his friends…just so he could feel a small bit of control…

_No_.

Those days were over.

Right now, he needed to focus on getting ready for his usual run in the morning. He was late. It was mid-morning and the sun was already up. He shut-down his computer and left his apartment quickly.

In the hall of his building, Troy watched the number atop the elevator slowly reach his floor.

Then the double doors slid apart with a _ding_, revealing a slim male with grey sweat pants hanging off his hips, a fitted white tee shirt stretching over his lean chest, long strands of blond hair framing his face, and pale blue eyes looking at him with surprise.

"Troy?" Ryan gave him a small smile. He let his headphones dangle from his shirt collar as his eyes scanned Troy briefly. Troy felt his skin prickle. "Are you going for a run?" He asked.

Troy nodded as he stepped in, pressing the lobby button, and trying not to stare at Ryan's less than casual wear.

_Ryan Evans is wearing sweatpants_, Troy thought dazed. He was a tad thrown off by the idea and completely unprepared for the sight. It almost felt intimate.

Troy didn't think twice about himself though, wearing his old red wildcats' basketball shorts and sleeveless black shirt. He didn't feel all that underdressed. He would've gone out bare-chested and not cared all that much if not for the breezy weather.

But Ryan in sweats?

Sweats that were so snug and…loose at the same time. Troy's eyes had a hard time not wandering down the lines of the thin fabric covering Ryan's legs, his thighs, his hips…

"I usually run the treadmill at the gym but it's nice to go outside, feel the air and everything," Ryan said absently. His eyes were focused on the ribbed pattern on the elevator door.

"Where do you run?" Troy asked. "I usually go around the outskirts of campus but I'd be willing to make a detour," he grinned.

Ryan looked at him, his eyes widening a degree before he smiled back, "Yeah, um, I run around here actually, there's another park not too far off and a trail that I go on that leads back to here," then he grinned, "I could use a running buddy."

Troy smiled widely, "Well, then I guess I'm your buddy."

The elevator door opened, and Ryan led the way. Troy smiled to himself, his eyes wandering down Ryan's form all the while.

_This will be interesting_, Troy thought.

Suddenly Ryan turned half-way, causing Troy to hastily lift his gaze. "I was thinking of running for a half-hour is that okay with you?"

Troy nodded. Even though he knew he was already late, he could be ten minutes late just this once. Ryan looked _really_ good in those pants…_too_ good to ignore.

Then Ryan smiled, "Okay, good."

He had a really nice smile, Troy thought. It was a small smile, a lift of his lips and a lift of his light eyes, gentle but really attractive.

Then Troy looked away quickly, silently scolding himself. He really shouldn't be thinking like this.

The trees surrounding their building were all thick with leaves, a mix of green, brown, red, and yellow. It was very quiet and hardly anyone was outside. Just a few people going to work but most students were still asleep since the first class starts in an hour, 8:00 AM.

Usually Troy would be out earlier than this. He would be back in his apartment by the time the sun was fully up in the sky, bright and shining. Today, the sun was hidden behind a low cloud and mid-way its journey up in the sky.

Ryan started to run in place, warming up. His white tee riding up as he stretched his back and then his arms, Troy forced his gaze away from the peak of pale skin.

The one thing that had seriously changed since High School was Troy's heightened senses to an attractive male. It didn't happen too often but when it did…he _knew_ it and he really _felt_ it.

And right now, Troy knew he was seriously attracted to Ryan. His body screamed it.

But he wasn't going to act on it. He couldn't, not when he had been trying to stay away from anything relating to sex or guys with similar interests. After all, if he hadn't been so reckless last year, maybe half of the mess he created could have been avoided. If hadn't been so concerned with exploring his new found sexuality and pushing away anything or anyone that required him to be the 'Old Troy Bolton' maybe he could have seen things more clearly.

Last year was a haze of blinking rays of light in a dark club, freedom, heat, and irresponsibility. Troy learned living carelessly and worry-free had serious consequences.

"You ready?" Ryan said.

Troy jerked slightly, startled out of his thoughts. Ryan was watching him with some concern. "Y-yeah," Troy said before he cleared his throat, "Let's go."

Ryan nodded, his blue eyes glinting under the ray of sunlight peaking from behind the clouds.

_That doesn't mean I still can't _look_, though. _Troy thought innocently.

And so, they started their jog.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

_Eventually, as time goes by, everything just falls into place._

At least, that was what Chad liked to believe anyway.

He always tried to look at the bright side of any situation. Even when it became too difficult to breathe…when it became too hard to see past all the crap splattering everywhere.

He would stand up straight, suck in a breath, and walk through all the grime collecting at his feet.

That was just the kinda guy he was.

And when Troy started to hang out with him less and less the year before, Chad had let it slide. When Troy started to ditch Chad, and lie, and forget plans, Chad had said it was fine.

Because Chad knew Troy would always be his best-friend. That was why it was so hard when Troy left Chad without any reason but "you wouldn't understand."

And that was why it was so easy to forgive Troy when he knocked on the door to his house in the middle of summer vacation, looking like he hadn't changed his clothes in a couple days, and said:

"_I'm so sorry, Chad."_

Maybe it was different for Jason, Chad didn't know.

He didn't know what was going on in Jason's head. All Chad wanted was for his two best-friends to get along.

Walking to his next class, Chad spotted Troy standing near a bench in front of the History and English building. Troy gave him a half-smile as if unsure whether to approach the curly brunet at all.

Chad made the decision easy for him. "Hey!" Chad shouted, smiling widely.

"Hey," Troy smiled in relief, "What's up?"

"Nothin', I have class in 10 minutes," Chad replied.

"Oh, that's cool, what class?"

"Humanities," Chad said.

They hadn't talked since the 'incident' at the restaurant last week. And although Chad had a lot of questions for Troy, he knew he couldn't really ask him anything.

For some reason, it seemed like even Troy wouldn't know the answers.

_How strange is that? _

Troy stood stiffly. His fingers pressing into his plastic binder awkwardly, he kept changing the pressure of his grip, causing the plastic to stretch and discolor slightly.

"Its okay, Troy," Chad offered.

Troy looked up quickly, "Jason's not mad anymore." His eyes were hesitant.

Chad felt like wincing but didn't. He hated seeing his friend like this. "Uh, he just needs some space, maybe…maybe in time he'll get over everything." He didn't know if that's how Jason really felt, but it sounded right. Jason said he needed to think and he did it by avoiding him. So, maybe he's doing that to Troy too.

_Maybe_. Chad never did know with Jason.

Troy looked confused. And Chad couldn't really blame him. "Okay," Troy said slowly.

Suddenly Troy said, "How come you never mentioned Ryan?"

"Huh?" Chad furrowed his eyebrows. Then it hit him, "Oh! _Ryan." _He chuckled, "Yeah, he's our roommate, jeez how could I not mention that!"

"Yeah, and we live in the same building," Troy said, rolling his eyes.

"What? We do," Chad said in surprise, "Wow, what floor do you live on?"

"The sixth," Troy smirked, "How can you forget to tell me Ryan Evans lives with you guys," he shook his head.

"I don't know, I guess things just kept coming up," Chad said slowly. And by _things_…Troy understood. They hadn't exactly been 'chatting it up' the past couple of days.

"And I hardly ever see Ryan, you know?" Chad continued, shrugging his shoulders. "He's never in the apartment when me an' Jase are there except when we're all asleep."

Troy nodded, and then he said, "Oh, I almost forgot," he took a slip of paper out of his back pocket, "After you left the restaurant the waitress told me to give you this."

Chad unfolded the piece of paper, and then he smiled goofily. "She gave me her number."

"Yeah," Troy chuckled.

After a long moment of Troy just standing in front of Chad, and Chad staring at the piece of paper, Troy cleared his throat, "Uh, Chad? Don't you have class?"

Chad's eyes widened, "Oh_shit_!"

The last thing Chad heard was Troy laughing before he broke out into a run for his next class.

_TBC_


	6. Diluted emotions

**A/N**: Sorry for the wait! I can not believe it's October already. Time _flies_.

—o—O—O—o—

**Room for Rent**

_Chapter 6: Diluted emotions. _

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

Jason was typing up his English paper at his desk when he heard his cell phone start vibrating on top of the mess of papers next to his laptop.

He grabbed it and flipped it open, pressing it to his ear without even checking to see who was calling him first.

"Hello," he answered distractedly, his eyes were still glued to his laptop screen, scanning the lines of his paper within.

"You still alive?" Came his brother's dry response.

Jason rolled his eyes even though his brother couldn't see him. "Yes," he grumbled, peeved that his brother had called just when he was about to finish his paper, completely disrupting Jason's flow.

"Well, don't you sound so happy to still be alive," David said sarcastically.

"Listen, I'll call you back, okay?" Jason said impatiently. His fingers twitched over the keyboard, the words were there but then his brother started talking again.

"Wait a sec… jeez, you don't have time for _family_?" His brother sounded hurt but in an over-the-top dramatic way that Jason knew was just an act.

Jason sighed. The flow was gone anyway. Jason made his peace with his now flow-less state and sat back in his chair. "Okay," he relented, "What's up?"

Jason could practically hear his brother's smug smile though the phone as he said, "Nothin' much, just wanted to know how you were doing."

"I'm fine," Jason said curtly.

"So, what about your classes?"

"What about them?"

Jason heard his brother let out a breath in aggravation. He knew he should care just a little bit more that he was annoying his brother so much, but Jason really didn't care at all. That wasn't such a bad thing, was it? Jason didn't think so.

"I just wanted to know if you were okay," his brother said finally. He sounded much calmer then Jason expected him to be and it made Jason feel guilty for being such a brat.

"I really am doing fine," Jason said more sincerely.

"Well, that's nice to hear, by the way, do know where the vacuum cleaner is?"

"It's by the…wait. Is that why you called me?!"

"No," David said, then he chuckled, "I was just thinking about that now, you know, the carpet is looking a little grey since you left."

"The carpet _is_ grey," Jason stated.

"Oh, then forget it."

"Okay, I will," Jason replied.

"Should be easy for you to do," His brother remarked.

"Yeah," Jason said. Then a moment later he heard his brother laugh and Jason realized he was being insulted. "Shut-up," Jason grumbled, but the command was pretty much ignored. David just laughed harder.

Jason debated hanging up for a moment but then his brother started talking again.

"So, everything is going good then."

"Yeah, everything is fine," Jason said.

"You have friends in your classes?"

Jason paused for a second. Then he shrugged off his hesitation and answered, "Yeah."

He was used to his brother calling in once and awhile to check in on him. He called more often than his mother but that was only because his brother was so nosy. Jason figured his brother just wanted to keep tabs on him.

"Like who?" David asked. And other times Jason got the feeling his brother wanted to get some dirt on him so he could go running off and tell their mom.

"Why do you wanna know?" Jason asked. His suspicions clear in his voice.

"I just want to make sure you're settling in okay, I don't want you being all antisocial or anything." Then David said things like that and made Jason feel guilty for ever doubting his brother's intentions.

"I'm okay," Jason sighed. "Chad is in some of my classes, and," Jason paused, wondering if he should tell his brother what he had been thinking of doing for awhile, maybe since he quit the basketball team. As much as his brother irritated him, he still trusted him. He could talk to David more than he could ever talk to their mom, so he continued. "I was thinking of joining the swim team," he confessed.

"Swim team, huh?" David sounded like he liked the idea. Jason was glad he told him after all. David used to be on the swim team back in high school, and they used to swim a lot when they were younger. With a little more training, Jason hoped it would help him get on the team.

"Yeah, since, you know, I quit the basketball team and stuff," Jason said more brightly.

"That's a great idea," David said. "So, you don't talk to Troy much now?"

And there it was again, that nagging feeling that Jason always got—he shook away the feeling. He felt like he was just being paranoid. This time he answered his brother without question.

"No, I don't."

There was a pause, and then his brother said, "I don't blame you, Jason, the guy isn't much of a friend."

"I guess," Jason said, not wanting to dwell on the topic any longer.

"I'll call you later, okay? Willy has some green stuff around his mouth," His brother said in a quick but too casual sort of way.

"Green stuff?!" Jason shouted but his brother already hung up the phone.

Jason looked worriedly at his cell phone, wondering if he should call back. Then he pocketed his cell phone, letting out an uneasy chuckle, David had a way of making people stress out over nothing. He knew as much as his older brother acted careless he was actually pretty responsible. That didn't mean he wasn't lazy though.

Looking at his computer screen, Jason felt content scrolling down the pages and seeing them filled with paragraphs. He was happy he was almost done with his English paper. Even if it only took two days before it was actually due to get close to finishing.

Staring at the block of words, and setting his fingers over the keyboard once again, he had the option of just getting it done right then and there.

Yeah, he could be finished with just a few more typed lines, closing his final paragraph. Then he'd be done. Complete.

He stared at the screen a few more moments.

"I need a break," Jason declared.

He still had time, he thought, he had a full _two_ days.

As he left his room, he spotted Chad's door ajar across from him and decided to push it open. Standing in the doorway, his nose scrunched up at the scent of sweet cologne in the room.

"Hey, man, what's with the…" Jason trailed off. Frozen at the doorway, he saw Chad standing there all shirtless.

It wasn't that Jason had never seen Chad shirtless before. They shared a dorm room for two semesters and changed in locker rooms all the time together.

It was just he had never really _noticed_ things before. He never noticed anything in passing glances.

He never really paid attention to the skin, all smooth and caramel colored. And there were hipbones that he was pretty sure weren't there before. And his eyes lowered and suddenly he noticed royal blue boxers peaked out from half-zipped black slacks.

Chad was in front of his bed, hands at his waist as he scanned a bunch of tee shirts scattered all over his bed.

Then he looked up at Jason.

"You okay man?" Chad asked, his brown eyes watching him curiously.

Jason's focus tore away from the royal blue to look up at Chad's face. His mouth opened but it took a second longer for the words actually get there.

And then the only thing that came out of his mouth was: "Your fly's open."

Chad quickly looked down. "Oh crap," he muttered, zipping up. Then he sighed, running his fingers through his curls. "Thanks," Chad gave a sheepish look but it didn't hide how stressed out he seemed.

Feeling the weird moment pass, Jason slipped into the room more comfortably, gazing around, he thought Chad's room looked like his closet had vomited all over the place. Clothing was draped over everything, the dresser, the bed, even the floor.

"You going to a funeral or something?" Jason asked.

Chad smiled then. "No, actually," he sounded pleased, "I have a date."

Feeling a little caught off guard, Jason's eyes widened briefly. Chad didn't notice however, he was too busy tossing shirt after shirt from his dresser onto his bed.

"Oh," Jason said lamely. "So, why're you wearing your funeral pants?" Jason asked, referring to Chad's tailored black pants.

Then Chad turned to give him a look. Jason knew that look. It was the look he realized a while ago meant he had either said something that was wrong or really stupid.

"First of all," Chad said, "These are my wedding pants, I had to go—"

"Whoa, isn't it a little early for marriage?" Jason cut in.

"Jason," Chad said. He looked as if he wanted to add something but then he settled for giving Jason that look again.

Jason pouted. Why couldn't Chad just explain things in a way a _normal_ person can understand? Jason gave what he hoped was his 'you're being really annoying right now!' look and after a moment Chad started to chuckle.

"Come on, light bulb, help me find a decent shirt," Chad said in amusement.

"Light bulb?" Jason repeated in confusion.

"Anyway, I was going to say I had to go to a wedding this summer, remember my cousin was getting married."

Jason came further into the room until he was standing close enough to notice all the different shirts on Chad's bed.

Then Jason nodded, "Oh yeah, so, you're wearing the only good pair a pants you own then," he said in understanding.

"Exactly," Chad said, giving Jason a bright smile. It made Jason feel all warm inside. He smiled back.

"So, how's it look?" Chad said gesturing to the scattered mess of shirts on his bed. "Anything good?"

Jason hadn't seen Chad this stressed out about finding something to wear since prom. Jason remembered how he, Chad, Zeke, and Troy were scrambling to find decent priced tuxedos. That had been a miserable week. Jason was glad senior-proms came only once in your life.

"They all look, um, different," Jason supplied.

Chad gave him a leveled look. "Different?" He repeated. "That means none of them are good, right?"

Jason looked around the room, and then he stepped over to the closet. "Wow, you went through everything," he said, avoiding Chad's question.

The closet was devoid of shirts, the only things left hanging were coats, light jackets, and other winter clothes.

Jason half-turned and found Chad glaring at him. "What?" Jason asked.

"Are you going to help me? Or are you just going to stand around and make useless observations?" Chad said, sounding annoyed.

"Well," Jason looked ruffled, "No need to be rude," he replied, turning around to fully face him. "I'll help, relax."

"Okay then, help," Chad said, "Tell me, what looks good?"

"Uh," Jason stared at the various shirts for a long moment, then he glanced at Chad, then he glanced back at the shirts, then he cleared his throat.

It wasn't that the shirts were bad per say, they were just all so…casual. Chad had _a lot_ of tee shirts.

And at every glance Jason made at Chad before he looked back at the shirts, Chad kept looking more and more impatient and annoyed.

"Jason," Chad's voice was terse.

"They all look sorta…lame," Jason said finally as he tried not to wince at his own words.

"Great," Chad muttered. "Now what am I going to do? I'm supposed to be meeting Cameron in a half-hour."

"Cameron?" Jason looked at Chad, finding the other male looking down at the shirts with a defeated expression.

"Yeah, the waitress, remember, from the restaurant…" Chad trailed off with a slight wince, reminding them both of their not-so-pleasant lunch with Troy.

"Yeah," Jason said quietly, "I remember."

Chad tossed a shirt off the chair by his desk, upset, he collapsed in the seat. He was looking out the window, biting his lip—Jason glanced away.

Looking down, Jason spotted a deep green button down shirt. It was a little wrinkly, but clean. "You have an iron?" Jason asked suddenly.

"Yeah," Chad replied distantly.

"I think I found something."

The smile Chad rewarded him with was worth the weird unsettling feeling Jason felt at the bottom of his stomach as the words left his lips.

And Jason didn't have a clue why.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

Leaving his accounting class, Ryan spotted the familiar lean muscled frame of a male with a head of short shaggy brown hair.

As Ryan walked down the glossy floor of the math and science building, the brunet didn't seem to notice someone approaching him. He was too focused on a large bulletin board filled with posters for all sorts of school activities and advertisements.

"Interested in something?" Ryan spoke up behind him.

"Wha—" Troy turned around, wide-eyed, and then he relaxed. "Ryan," he breathed.

"Sorry, did I scare you?" Ryan tried not to smirk in amusement, but he knew he wasn't succeeding.

"What? No," Troy scoffed disbelievingly, "No way," he said. Then he looked at Ryan, who looked back at him questioningly, one eyebrow raised. Troy let out a chuckle, relenting in a smile, "Yeah, yeah you did."

"I haven't seen you around campus before," Ryan said.

"Yeah, and I haven't seen you jogging lately," Troy said but he didn't sound upset, it was more of a teasing way. Ryan still looked apologetic though.

"Sorry, I just haven't been waking up as early, I get out of work pretty late."

"It's okay," Troy said quickly, "Don't worry about it, it was just fun last time, jogging together, the time went by really quick."

"Yeah, yeah it did."

"So, you have classes here?"

"Yeah, my accounting class and calculus class."

"Whoa, those sound…fun," Troy scratched the back of his neck, an awkward smile plastered on his face.

Ryan chucked, "Yeah, _tons_ of fun," he tried to sound jokingly but he was afraid some of his bitterness might be showing through. Troy didn't seem to notice though as he laughed along with the blond.

"What were you looking at?" Ryan asked as glanced at the bulletin board behind Troy.

Yet, before Troy could say, Ryan noticed it.

Bright yellow, beckoning, it was a reminder for when the University's theater club was meeting.

_Open to all_, Ryan read, _we need singers, actors, and musicians, even people who can design costumes and work in the tech crew._

His eyes burned in the yellow as he stared and stared. Everything around him darkened and shifted out of focus. The floor beneath him wobbled and titled, but he couldn't move. He couldn't stop the hallowing feeling as a huge hole cracked open in the pit of his stomach.

_Shifting—breaking, everything feels broken. _

He wanted to lie down. He wanted—

Suddenly, a warm hand landed hesitantly on his shoulder, startling him. He turned around quickly, and looked up at Troy, who looked back him with eyes crinkled in concern.

"You okay?" Troy's blue eyes were bright.

Ryan swallowed thickly, nodding, "Y-yeah," he replied.

"You sure…" Troy wouldn't let his hand fall from his shoulder. And Ryan felt trapped under that bright gaze, feeling uncomfortable, he broke away.

"I'm fine," Ryan stated. Then he glanced around, hoping to get Troy to lift his gaze from him. He felt relieved when Troy decided to look at the poster again.

But then Troy's voice sounded gentle as he said, "I know it seems, I don't know, silly, I guess, but I still want to…" Troy looked at Ryan then, "You know, sing," he said the last part quietly.

Ryan stared at Troy, speechless.

He didn't want to have this conversation. He didn't want to _think_ about having this conversation. He avoided it with his sister, who constantly asked if he was still doing _something_ related to singing or acting. He always changed the subject. And now, the last person he expected to bring this up was Troy.

"Ryan?"

"I-I have to go," Ryan said hastily. Troy turned to him in confusion, and then Ryan said, "Sorry," almost as an afterthought as he rushed out of the school building and headed to the apartment building.

Ryan's mind was everywhere and nowhere all at once.

_What was that? _

Troy still wanted to sing?

Troy had no idea. Ryan chuckled darkly. This was just getting unbearable. It was like every time he started to feel okay, when he would forget the fact that he wasn't acting and he wasn't singing, when things didn't seem so bad, something would come along and remind him just exactly where he was. Some little thing would remind him of everything he had to leave behind to be here.

_I don't want to be here…why…it isn't fair…it just—it's not fair. _

And every time he had thoughts like that he quickly felt guilty. His father needed him. He couldn't be selfish.

He desperately tried to hold off the feeling of the floor breaking, everything titling around him.

He wanted to go back to the numbness. He wanted to feel nothing again. But, it never was about what he wanted.

"Hey Ryan!"

Ryan turned and almost ran into blur of black and green and brown curls. Chad had already whizzed by him, waving exuberantly, as he shouted, "Wish me luck!"

Ryan turned around and watched the curly brunet half-run down to the parking lot.

"For what?" He said before Ryan realized he was just asking himself. Wiping the skin on his forehead just below his hat, he felt cold sweat. He tugged on his hat more tightly, feeling it secure above his eyes.

When he reached the apartment he expected it to be empty, since, usually, when Chad wasn't there neither was Jason. So, he was surprised when he opened the door and found Jason standing there as if he was about to leave but stopped short at the center of the living room.

"Hey," Ryan said, closing the door behind him.

Jason looked at Ryan uncomfortably but then Ryan realized he wasn't looking at him but at the door he had just stepped though. And then his gaze focused and snapped to Ryan. "Hey," he said finally.

"I'm just going to go to my room," Ryan said, glancing at Jason briefly before he toed off his shoes at the door.

"Okay," Jason sounded quiet. Ryan heard him flop on the couch behind him.

Ryan didn't think much about Jason's disconcerting look. He just left the quiet male in the living room as he headed to his room.

All Ryan wanted to do was lay down and hope everything would stop tilting around him. Yet, he wondered if maybe it wouldn't be better for the floor to just open up and swallow him whole.

Several minutes later, he didn't even hear the front door open and close. He didn't even realize Jason left him alone in the apartment.

Ryan was already asleep.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

The doorbell sounded loud in Chad's ears.

He took a deep breath as the door opened, revealing a petite figured young woman. She wore a simple red dress.

"Hey there," she sounded amused, "I thought you were going to ditch me or something."

"No way," Chad panted. He just hoped he wasn't sweating since he practically ran all the way there. His hand pressed down on his shirt, nervously, before he gave her a single rose from his other hand from behind his back.

Her smiled widened. "Well," she said before she smelled the rose, and then she looked at him with twinkling dark eyes, her tan skin glowing under the lowering sun. "I think you just earned yourself some extra points."

And the only thought Chad had as a relieved smile broke into his face was _Thank God_.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

The evening sky was thick lines of purple and pink by the time Troy entered the gymnasium.

Crossing the glossy large linoleum floor to the staircase, he went down a quick flight of stairs to the men's locker room.

He had remembered he left his history text book in his locker and decided to pick it up before he headed back to the apartment after a late class.

The locker room was pretty empty on a Thursday evening. Troy wasn't so shocked by that. The campus was usually empty by Thursday anyway. Most people had no classes on Friday. Troy didn't have that luxury though.

Opening his locker and then grabbing the thick American History book, he pulled it under his arm.

Suddenly, Troy heard footsteps.

And then he watched as Jason went down the aisle, passing Troy's row.

It was enviable. They went to the same University, so of course their paths had to cross.

After closing his locker, Troy stepped out into the aisle and saw Jason way ahead of him, unaware of Troy's presence as he walked toward the staircase.

His dark hair was wet and he had a towel around his neck. A swimming cap was dangling from his hand and a backpack on one arm. Troy guessed he must have gone swimming in the pool on the floor just below the locker room.

It was an awkward situation. There was only one way to get to their apartment building that didn't include creepy back alleyways and dark streets. And it was getting dark now. But then again, Troy just couldn't follow Jason all the way there. He couldn't just hide in the shadows. Troy considered it for a moment before he shook his head of the absurd thought.

He was sick of always hiding, and he wasn't about to start again now.

He walked a bit faster, catching up to the fast raven-haired male. They were already outside by the time Troy yelled out, "Hey, Jason!"

Jason whipped around, his eyes wide, looking startled before his gaze fell on Troy. "Hey," he said back. His voice was cold but he didn't ignore him. Troy thought that was a good sign.

Jason avoided his gaze as they walked beside each other. The air between them automatically turned tense as they both remained quiet. Troy suddenly felt a lot colder, he zipped up his hoodie.

"So," Troy began. He gave an uncertain smile, ignoring the knot in his stomach forming as he said, "You went swimming?"

"Yeah, I seem to have a lot of free time now," Jason replied cuttingly.

Troy felt that knot in his stomach just wind up tighter.

Jason had a lot of free time since he quit the basketball team at the end of last semester. For reasons, Troy was ashamed to admit, he didn't know. All Troy knew was it was somehow his fault.

But when Jason quit, it was then that Troy realized just how messed up he was being. It was when Troy realized how much of jerk he was.

It was then that he quit being so reckless with how he was handling his friends and school and his parents. Lying, drinking, partying—he quit it all.

He did something that hurt Jason, something stupid, forgot something, or messed something up—Troy didn't know what. He was too wasted to care at the time.

And every time Jason's voice turned cold, it made Troy feel so guilty—that he was the reason gentle, unassuming Jason turned so withdrawn.

Jason blamed him for something that Troy didn't remember doing because he was so stupidly drunk to care. And whenever Jason looked at him with that withdrawn expression, Troy couldn't fill in the gap in his memory that held the reason why Jason was angry with him.

All Troy remembered was rain, melted snow, disappointed green-eyes, anger, and some confusing lost feeling that Troy couldn't grasp—he went blank.

Clouded with alcohol, Troy's memories were hazy. It was so frustrating to be left with these clues and fragments of moments and having no way of putting them together so that they made any sense. Troy was angry at himself for letting himself get so out of control.

Troy gave a nervous sort of chuckle, trying to clear the air, or even clear away the haze in his memories. He didn't really care which.

"Jason, I know you probably hate me, but I just wanted to say sorry, okay?" His words felt empty, Troy thought, but he hoped it would help a little.

"I don't hate you, Troy," Jason said quietly.

Troy looked at Jason in confusion, but Jason wouldn't meet his gaze as he continued, "I just don't want to have anything to do with you."

And the tiny bit of hope that had welled within Troy completely deflated. "I don't understand," Troy said to himself.

"You made a promise, and you broke it. Simple as that," Jason said, mistakenly thinking Troy was talking to him. He gave Troy a small glance before looking ahead, watching as they approached their building. "I trusted you to help me when I really, really needed it and you never showed, and then, well, and then it was all over…I can't go back."

"You can't go back?" Troy said, trying to piece together what Jason was saying with what he remembered. _Can't go back where?_

And then Troy remembered the rain, the slushy snow under his boots. He heard an upset voice drift in his mind.

"_That was the last chance I had, Troy, and you're the reason it's gone!"_

Troy looked at Jason but the raven-haired male never said anything.

The look on his face, it made Troy feel anxious. His green-eyes hard, his expression raw, hurt, angry, and disappointed, and familiar—and the realization hit Troy suddenly, that look, it was how Jason looked at him back then, those words, it was exactly what he yelled at him.

But Jason wasn't yelling now, he seemed subdued. The same feelings of anger were there but it was mellowed out with time, maybe even acceptance.

Troy felt a new wave of anger at himself. In that moment, more than anything, Troy wished he could remember everything clearer.

"What are you trying to do Troy?" Jason said, narrowing his eyes in defense. "Why are you trying to dig stuff up like this?"

"I'm not trying to do anything, Jason, I'm just…I just wanted to say sorry, that's all, sorry," Troy said, biting his lip nervously. He averted his gaze from Jason's withering ones.

Then he heard Jason sigh. Troy looked up and watched Jason's gaze soften with an almost defeated expression.

"Chad told me you live here too," Jason said finally, nodding to their building. He turned to look at Troy, seeking some type of confirmation.

Troy nodded, "Yeah, on the sixth floor." He didn't understand the change of topic but Troy was glad the tension and anger in Jason's voice lessened. It felt easier to breathe.

"So, since we're probably going to see each other all the time, I guess, I'll accept your apology," Jason said.

"…really?" Troy asked cautiously. He tried not to fully believe it but his hopes always were bigger than his sense of actuality.

"But," Jason added, "That doesn't mean I still trust you." And Troy felt like that was better than he could have ever hoped for.

"Okay," Troy nodded.

Jason's eyes were sharper than Troy ever remembered them. He didn't exactly smile but his expression wasn't closed-off either. It was like Troy was back at the Chinese restaurant again, like he was being put on trial. Troy didn't say anything as he anxiously let Jason finish his assessing gaze.

And then whatever it was Jason was trying to find in Troy, Troy guessed he found it because Jason nodded.

Walking into their building, they were both quiet but the tension was washed away and all that was left was a semi-comfortable companionship.

Troy knew he should feel grateful but deep down inside he knew he didn't deserve this. As much as he knew how stupid he was last year, and how many mistakes he made—in reality, it was just an idea, a vague understanding to Troy.

Now, watching Jason say goodnight as he left him in the elevator at his floor—quiet, reserved, almost guarded—Troy's vague understanding turned into something sharp, distinct, but at the same time frustratingly unknown.

Everything he had originally thought about his mistakes, how they were in the past, how time would heal them, were all taken away by the agonizing realization that there must be something much more than time to fix all this. He needed to know exactly what he did. He couldn't put everything he did the year before under the broad label of his mistakes. They were more than that…they hurt his friends. _He_ had hurt his friends.

Troy felt like a fake. Apologizing to everyone was worthless when you couldn't even remember how you were wrong.

He desperately wanted to fix it. But then, how could you fix something if you had no idea what the problem was? How could you truly apologize if inside you didn't know the real reason why you were wrong?

He didn't blame Jason for being so angry with him because Troy knew it wasn't enough to just say you're sorry. And even though Troy was sorry, he wasn't sorry for the reasons he should be, and he wasn't sorry for the reasons Jason wanted him to be sorry for because Troy didn't know what reasons Jason had.

Troy was just sorry everything had happened the way it did. But that wasn't enough. Jason was willing to give him a chance, as small as it was, and Troy repaid him by his dishonesty. He pretended he remembered whatever it was that made Jason so angry with him. What kind of friend was he?

Troy was a guilty mess.

But at the same time, Troy felt a burning determination to find out exactly what he did. Because once he knew exactly every mistake he made, he could finally own up to them.

So, the next time Troy said he was sorry, it wouldn't feel so fake anymore.

_TBC_

**A/N:** I hope you guys liked this chapter! A lot of you want to know what Troy did and that makes me really happy :D Speculate away, I love hearing from you guys.


	7. Falling back to old habits

**A/N:** Wow it's been a whole year since I started this story. I'm excited though, this is a project I'm working really hard on. And I'm so sorry for the long wait on this chapter, I've been a really slow writer lately and I apologize. I just hate to post things I'm not happy with, so I hope you guys understand. I hope you guys enjoy this one! :D And I also want to say I love you guys! Your reviews are what make my day sometimes.

—o—O—O—o—

**Room for Rent**

_Chapter 7: Falling back to old habits_

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

"Hey, you awake?"

Shifting underneath his sheets, Jason's eyes were screwed tight. The blankets were warm and his bed was so comfortable. He would've been deep asleep if it weren't for the voice somewhere on his left.

"…Jason?"

A voice that was insistent and soft, and _very_ annoying.

The constant poking on his shoulder followed by "hey" made Jason wrinkle his nose. Not willing to open his eyes yet, he was trying to grasp the last threads of sleep quickly unraveling. Jason snuggled close to his pillow, rolling over, and away from the pesky voice and pokes.

"Come on, man, it's ten, and I gotta tell you something,"—a few moments and an impatient sigh later—"Like, as in, _now_!" The voice said, and it was only going to get louder, Jason realized irritably, if he kept ignoring it.

"But it's Saturday," Jason mumbled, resolute in that being reason enough to sleep in. He stubbornly lifted the heavy blanket over his shoulder, burying his head in his pillow. He felt the bed dip with an added body, and then his shoulder was shaken vigorously. "Argh!" Jason huffed. He sat up on his bed, the blanket and sheets pooling at his waist. He heaved a sigh, a grumpy pout at his lips.

Chad smiled widely. He looked freshly showered with the scent of soap and sweet cologne wafting off his skin. Bright-eyed and annoyingly chipper, "Hey, so you're up?" He said.

After a long sleepy blink, Jason eyes narrowed into a glare. Chad looked unfazed.

"Now that you're up and everything," Chad said casually, sneaking a quick glance at his wrist-watch, "You still have time to go take a shower, get dressed, and meet Cameron."

"I don't want to—what?" Jason took some time to process Chad's words, his mind slow with the edges of sleep still making everything at the corner of his eyes look fuzzy.

"She's coming over in like an hour, so get up," Chad continued. He looked excited and Jason still looked confused.

"Cameron?" The name felt foreign as it left Jason's lips. Like he ate something sour, Jason's lips scrunched up.

Chad didn't notice his reaction however. He was already rifling through Jason's dresser, trying to find clothes for the other male.

Jason groaned and flopped back on his bed, feeling the remnants sleep, warm and sweet and inviting, threatening to overcome him again. This was _his_ Saturday damnit! He didn't want to waste it with some girl Chad apparently had the hots for. He just wanted to spend it in his bed, preferably until noon, which then would be followed by him eating and watching television, maybe a few games on his Xbox.

Suddenly a dark blue tee shirt landed on his face, followed by a pair of dark-washed jeans. Jason quickly got up before his sneakers ended up flying toward his head.

Chad stood over his bed, "Dude, you can get your own underwear," he said. Jason snorted, shaking his head in amusement as he glanced down at the clothes Chad picked out for him on his lap.

"Chad…this shirt, it's a little small," Jason muttered. He got up, reluctantly, and grabbed a clean pair of boxers from his dresser. Chad pulled on his arm, gently pushing him toward the hallway and then the bathroom. "Chad…" Jason began but then Chad's hands fell on his back and Jason was forced to move forward, "Let me just go get—"

"We have no time!" Chad rushed Jason into the bathroom, closing him inside. "Just take a shower," Chad's voice filtered through the door. Jason pouted inside the bathroom, alone.

"Fine," Jason grumbled. Glancing once more at the shirt and jeans in his hands, both of which were sizes a tad smaller than he was used to wearing, he tossed them on top of the hamper. How did Chad manage to find clothes he always stuffed in the back of his drawer and never wore? It was a mystery to Jason.

Pulling his pajamas off, and stepping into the shower, he found himself just resting the back of his head on the tiled wall, letting the water run on him, streams going down his body, warm water that was doing nothing to really wake him up.

The water, it felt good, and Jason had the urge to go down to the pool under the gym and do laps back and forth the large body of water. He was starting to love swimming—the continuous motion of his arms as he cut though the water, ripples of it pushing against his chest and shoulder, the kick of his legs—Jason found his clothes were getting a bit bagger and looser. Peaking out through the shower curtain and glancing at the clothes on the hamper, a thought occurred to him. _Maybe they'll fit me after all. _

He heard a rapid knock on the door, and Jason started in surprise, eyes darting to the door.

"Hey! Hurry up!" Chad's voice was loud behind the door.

Jason pulled the shower curtain close roughly, irritated by Chad's pushiness.

_Why is it so important for me to meet her anyway?_ Jason thought. He didn't care for the waitress, and Jason felt weird about being the third wheel in this little get together.

Lathering himself with the nearest bar of soap, he washed up quickly and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a fluffy white towel around his waist.

All of a sudden, the door banged open. Jason tightened the hold on his towel and watched Chad press his back against the door. "Chad!" Jason yelled, "What the _hell_?!" Flustered at his state of undress and Chad's presence abruptly _close_, Jason's legs involuntarily move backward, his heels hitting the bottom of the tub.

"She's here," Chad uttered, wide-eyed and nervous. His brown eyes darted around the bathroom and then his gaze fell on Jason's chest. Jason felt himself heat up as Chad's gaze swept down his body. "Whoa, when did you get all fit?" Chad mumbled absently.

Jason blushed. "Do you mind? I can't…dress with you in here," he said, embarrassed, and feeling cornered in the suddenly tiny bathroom. He had his eyes averted, but when he didn't hear Chad's response he looked up and found Chad still staring at his chest. "Chad! Get outta here!"

"It's just…when did that all happen?" Chad said, gesturing to Jason's flat chest, all pale smooth skin except for the faint ripples of muscle.

Jason felt goose bumps flare on his arms as he hugged himself, trying to keep warm and cover himself up at the same time. He shrugged, "I don't know," he muttered, uncomfortable with the topic of conversation.

The way Chad wouldn't let his gaze fall off his body, brown eyes surprised and curious—Jason felt a shiver run down his spine and hugged himself tighter.

"Uh, Chad?" he said quietly, "Didn't you say that Cameron was here?"

Chad's eyebrows shot up, panicked, "Oh, shit, I forgot!" He grabbed Jason's clothes and threw it at him. "Get dressed and get out, now," he ordered before shooting out of the bathroom and slamming it close behind him.

Jason let out a breath in relief, even though he was suddenly acutely aware of his heart hammering in his chest. Having Chad stare at him while he was practically naked and wet…it made Jason feel nervous and unexplainably _bare_. He couldn't understand why. Dressing and undressing in front of Chad was nothing new. It was _nothing_, Jason mentally repeated, _nothing_. But Chad's eyes were warm on his skin. And Jason found the attention a little more flattering than he should have.

Jason tried to reassure himself that these feelings didn't mean anything. Even though, he felt like something was different now. Something that was unknown and scary and he couldn't bear to label.

Shaking his head, he quickly let those thoughts go. He heard the faint noise of Chad's voice mixed with a more high-pitched laugh, a woman's laugh, Jason realized. Sighing softly, his chest unclenched, his heart beat steadied as he went through the thoughtless process of getting dressed. He thought it was best to get out there before Chad barged in here again.

Jason didn't think he could handle _that_ again.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

It always seemed like when you least wanted to see someone, you ended up bumping into them more frequently than you ever did before.

It was like a science or something. A logic that Ryan hated but knew extremely well: Your worst fears happened when you least expected them to. It was a fact. Ryan didn't know why he was so surprised.

Like the first year he had actually been very confident, _absolutely_ sure, that he would be the lead male role, no matter what, in the school musicale _Twinkle Towne_ before some jock he knew only in passing glance and name went ahead and took his place. He grudgingly admitted that the jock had talent.

Like the summer where he had no doubt him and his sister would win the talent show before she replaced him with a guy she had the hots for, not thinking twice about her brother and how much he really wanted to be a big part of what had become their summer tradition at Lava Springs. So much for tradition, he had thought with resentment at the time.

Like when he entered a coffee shop he never went into before, confident he would be alone for some time before he went to his classes, until the very person he had been trying to avoid looked up from a small table in the back and locked eyes with him.

It was a fact Ryan should have been used to, fate was always a bitch when you were overconfident in your future, as if she was mocking you, a sly smile at her lips as she laughed, _Oh, really? You sure that's gonna happen? Think again._

Ryan didn't seem to realize that the very examples he thought up all had the very same person wedged in the center of them all. He didn't think much about it at all.

Ryan heard the door behind him creak open and suddenly a group of students, probably dropping in for coffee before class, rushed past him. And Ryan had no other choice but to move forward, averting his gaze as Troy's head lifted up to took directly at him, most likely to catch his gaze again.

Ryan held a tight smile, hoping that was enough of a greeting but Troy was already getting up and walking toward him.

His fingers grazing the counter top, Ryan didn't realize he was already at the front of the line.

"Sir?"

Ryan started at the noise, surprised. He turned and saw the cashier looking back at him expectantly. "You ready to order?" The cashier asked.

"Yeah, sorry, I'll have regular coffee, cream and two sugars," Ryan said.

The steaming cup of coffee was already in his hand by the time he heard someone behind him.

"Hey," Troy's voice was warm and near. He could feel his breath ruffling his hair, and Ryan felt strangely exposed without a hat on at that exact moment.

Turning around, Ryan realized Troy was directly behind him as another group of student rushed behind Troy, making him draw nearer. It made Ryan uncomfortable. He felt trapped and the silence between them was unbearably noticeable.

Sensing the tension surrounding Ryan, Troy gave him a hesitant look. It was as if he was about to say something but then thought better of it. Averting his eyes and lifting his lips in a smile like it was the only thing he could think of doing, Troy looked pretty uncomfortable too.

Ryan was never one to break tense and quiet situations. Most of the time he was the one that started them.

"How are you?" Troy asked, gazing down at him. The crowd behind Troy had finally dispersed and he backed away, allowing Ryan breathing room and more importantly a chance to escape.

It wasn't that he hated Troy. It was just that Troy was exactly the type of person he wanted to avoid. A person that brought all these memories of singing and theater, Troy was like a reminder of a time when Ryan was able to do what he loved, dance and act and perform. Ryan had a feeling Troy wouldn't let it go—he wouldn't let Ryan forget what he desperately wanted to erase from his mind. The memories of being on stage, gratifying and surreal, it was too much for Ryan, it was overwhelming.

"Fine," Ryan let out. When he lifted his head, he found Troy gazing at him, studying him, Ryan looked away again, glancing toward the door.

Troy must have noticed his gaze because he was offering to walk him to campus. "I'm going to class anyway," Troy explained.

And Ryan had no choice but to follow.

They walked side by side. The campus was only a ten minute walk from the coffee shop. Ryan felt like those ten minutes were an eternity.

"I'm sorry if I said something that upset you," Troy said suddenly.

Ryan looked at Troy in surprise. "It's okay, Troy, it wasn't really you're fault." _It's not really anyone's fault_, Ryan thought sadly.

Troy was gazing at him again. Ryan could see all the questions forming in his eyes and he wished Troy wouldn't ask. He just wanted to forget the incident happened at all. He didn't like showing so much emotion these days, repressing even his thoughts felt safe and comforting.

It was just so much better when he didn't think about being _here_. In those moments where he forgot, it was like an escape from reality. And as strange as it sounded, he felt more alive.

Warm and startling, Troy's hand touched the top of his hand. He wanted to get his attention, they had stopped in front of the campus entrance way, and Ryan was zoning out again.

"I know what it's like to feel like you want to…hide things," Troy said softly. Ryan's heart was hammering in his chest, shocked at Troy's perceptiveness, or maybe he wasn't as good at repressing his feelings as he thought. "I'm not going to push you," Troy smiled warmly, "Relax."

Ryan nodded, unsure how to respond, his throat felt tight and dry. But there was something about Troy's smile that made the tension in his back unwind and melt away. He hadn't realized his shoulders were so rigid until they relaxed.

"I'll see you later," Troy said, giving him a wave before he walked away.

Ryan waved back, still standing there, stunned at their conversation.

And wondering just what Troy meant by knowing how he felt.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

Cameron Hernandez was her name, Jason learned. She shook his hand. Soft manicured hands that made him feel uncomfortable as Chad gazed at the both of them.

She was a pretty woman, Spanish, slender, dark eyes and hair, tan skin. But she had a laugh that bothered Jason, especially after every time Chad said a joke or made a funny comment. He knew Chad pretty well, and he didn't think he was all _that_ funny.

Most of the time, Chad was corny. But Jason always found himself smiling at Chad's attempts to make them laugh. It was when he'd hear her high-pitched laugh that his smile would wipe off his face.

Chad kept glancing at him, worried looks shooting his way as if he wanted some type of approval from him. Jason kept avoiding his eyes, not willing to give him what he desperately wanted. It was selfish, but Jason got this nagging feeling he couldn't explain. And this girl was annoying. No matter how polite she seemed, she still bugged him.

"So, you guys went to high school together," she asked him.

"Yeah," Jason said, not elaborating. Cameron glanced at Chad, as if asking for help.

"We had every class together," Chad recalled, leaning back on the couch, his legs brushed against hers and they shared shy looks. "And we were on the basketball team," he added, with a smile in her direction.

Jason really just wanted to leave. He felt so misplaced watching them. He didn't think he belonged here at all. It wasn't like it would matter if Jason was here or not, Chad and Cameron seemed like they would get along just fine without him.

"I think I better go," Jason said, he was already standing up when Chad sat up, looking at him alarmed, and silently asking 'where the _hell_ do you think you're going?'

Jason pretended he didn't notice.

"Jason," Chad began to protest.

Jason shook his head, trying to put on a smile, as fake as it felt, it seemed to appease Chad. "I have stuff to do, homework, papers, you know," he said. It wasn't exactly a lie. He could be doing all of that stuff.

"It was nice meeting you," Cameron shot up quickly, shaking his hand again. She smiled widely at him and he felt his lips strain as he tried to do the same.

"Yeah," he said, "Nice to meet you too." He was lying but he didn't want to be rude. Chad seemed happy when he said it too.

When he reached his room, Jason heard them leave the apartment, and while he felt relieved that he was finally alone—he also felt strangely empty.

He didn't dwell on the feeling, choosing instead to actually start on his homework ahead of time. It was the one thing he could focus on that didn't leave weird feelings in his gut and strange thoughts in his head.

He found an unexplained comfort in writing than he ever imagined he would.

—O—o—O—O—o—O—

There were times when Troy would call himself weak. A word everyone he knew probably least associated him with—because to them he was perfect, strong, persevering, everything the golden boy represented. His family, his friends, they all gave him that starry-eyed look when he'd shoot a winning basket, when he say something to get them pumped up before some event, they looked up to him for things Troy wasn't even sure of himself.

And now, he had fallen from that position of golden boy, example of perfection and super star—it was a role he wasn't sure ever truly belonged to him.

Now, he felt an unexplained relief that the people closest to him saw him in a different light. As someone who had flaws, because honestly, he was riddled with them.

And Troy knew he was weak, as much as he hated to admit it. It was a word that described him perfectly.

_Weak. _

That was his only thought as stood outside of a familiar dance club in the city near the university.

This was the club where he'd escape to meet people who didn't care who he was, people who blurred into a mass of indefinable heat and body, sweat and sex. Club Zen.

It was so dark, Troy could see only the flashes of light from inside the club, street lights were tiny bulbs of light on the side of the buildings. He could hear the faint thumps of music drifting out in the street. There were smokers littering outside, and Troy wondered if standing out in the chilly air was really worth a cigarette.

Things didn't seem to change at all since he last came here.

When he walked in, old feelings rushed through him—miserable, lost, trapped, suffocating—he shut his eyes tightly, as the memory of his first time walking through these doors assaulted him. Looking at the bar, he decided he needed a drink. And the familiarly of that thought caused him to hesitate, deciding he better forget the alcohol—forget being here at all.

About to turn around and leave, someone touched his shoulder.

It was him. He was older, maybe by a few years. Tall and lean, dark hair, he seemed like he knew everything there was. Troy met him here, a year ago, when he wanted the company of someone who was unlike anyone he had ever met, who didn't already think Troy was someone he desperately didn't want to be anymore. East High's Golden Boy.

Troy didn't need to _think_ with him. He didn't have to do much of anything. For once, there was someone he could follow. There was a thrill, letting someone else lead him into something he wasn't very experienced in. Something that was vague, it was dangerous—and Troy knew he should have known better.

He was Troy's first.

First man to touch, first sexual experience at all.

His name was James.

Framed by black lashes, James eyes were dark, and Troy was never sure what color they were in the hazy dim lights of the club. He always leaned close to Troy, gazing down at him with an amused lift of his lips. Troy liked to think he meant something to the other man. But maybe that was just Troy's mind romanticizing every little thing, a habit he never got rid of since dating Gabriella.

"I haven't seen you here in a long time," James said, his mouth close to Troy's ear as the music blasted through the club, loud and resonating. Troy could feel the thrumming of the base vibrating in his chest.

"Yeah, been busy," Troy said back, leaning up, feeling the heat of James' chest against his own.

"Busy?" He replied, "Too busy to call me?" James teased.

Troy felt flustered suddenly. He wasn't exactly the most informative person when it came to leaving someone. Whenever he left, he just did it, following whatever feelings he had at time without so much as a thought to the people he was leaving behind. He hated the finality of saying good-bye. Maybe that was what brought him here tonight, to finally say good-bye to him. To this place. He liked to think he was owning up to his reckless behavior from the year before.

But the actual owning up part was ten times more difficult than the thought of going out and doing it. Troy's thoughts scattered when it came to his emotions.

James' dark hair fell into his eyes as he gazed down at Troy, he was so close Troy felt his body lean closer on its own accord. "I thought you were never coming back," he said. James was sort of a mind-reader at times, it was scary. His fingers were trailing up Troy's jacket, sliding in the middle of chest where the zipper laid.

And this was where Troy should've said, 'yes, I'm never coming back here again. I'm never setting foot in this place because all you do is make me forget about my duties, forget about the people I care about, forget about myself.'

Instead Troy's eyes were glued to James', heat rising in the pit of his stomach as he watched desire welling behind James' eyes.

God, he was fucking addictive.

And Troy was so fucking weak.

_TBC_

**A/N:** I know Chad's point of view is missing, I really missed writing him but his POV will come a little later, don't worry!

Also, reviews are LOVE! They make me smile all goofy and have people asking me what I'm reading on the computer that's making me all happy. It's a nice feeling. :D


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